What If?

Sabi ko nga sayo dati diba? I will be happy to see you reach your goals.

I want to see you succeed in life. That's why I chose let you go.

Also, I think I owe you an apology.

Naalala mo nung nakwento mo sa akin na hiwalay na kayo ng ex-girlfriend mo? Uhm, medyo masaya ako that time kasi may pag-asa na ulit ako.

I'm really sorry for being happy because of your breakup! But she doesn't deserve you. Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi niyan. Still, I'm really sorry.

I want to end this letter with a big thank you.

Thank you for coming into my life and for loving me.

You're a lesson that I want to learn and a memory I don't want to erase.

-Elisha

*******

Grabe naman magdrama 'yung dating ako, feel na feel eh!

I wiped my tears and put the letter back inside the envelope.

I suddenly felt the urge to write a new letter for him.

Wala namang mangyayari kung magsusulat ako ng panibago eh. Parang diary na lang siya na ako lang ang nakakaalam.

Itinabi ko muna ang lahat ng gamit na nagkalat sa sahig bago ako kumuha ng panibagong papel at ballpen.

I went to my study table, sat on the chair and played the song he used to sing for me back then.

Dear Dominic,

Nahanap ko 'yung letter ko para sayo noon. Sad to say, hindi mo pa rin siya nababasa.

I'm already on my year 5 of waiting. Five years lang ang nilaan kong taon para sa paghihintay ko sayo.

But something inside me still wants to wait for you for another five years until you come back.

Five years had passed, I'm still single and not interested to mingle. Babalik ka pa ba? Ako pa rin ba?

Alam mo kayang naghihintay ako? Nakita mo kaya 'yung hidden note sa pinadala kong farewell card?

Sabi mo, hindi mo ako makakalimutan. Totoo kaya 'yon? Pagbalik mo, maaalala mo pa kaya ako?

Words are just letters but it has a great impact on one's life. Every word that slipped out of your mouth had a huge impact on my life.

I'm still into you. Nothing changed over the past five years. Nothing. It's still you.

The longer I wait for you, the deeper I fall for you.

Ginayuma mo ba ako? Anong brand 'yan? Makabili nga at gamitin ko din sayo hahahaha!

You know? Naisip ko, pagbalik mo tapos hindi na ako, okay lang. At least, masaya ka.

Hindi naman natin kayang kontrolin kung sino ang mamahalin natin eh.

As long as you're happy, kuntento na ako.

We may not continue as lovers but we can start as friends. We can start a friendship we never experienced before.

I'd be happy with that kind of setup.

-Elisha

Naghanap lang ako ng bagong envelope sa drawer ko at kumuha ng mga colored papers para gumawa ng bulaklak.

At least ito, hindi malalanta o mamamatay.

When I finished making the flower, I put it inside the envelope along with the letter and hid it inside that box with the old letter.

Ibinalik ko na rin ang iba pang mga gamit sa loob at sinara na ang kahon tsaka ito ibinalik sa lagayan niya.

I looked at it for a few seconds and a smile formed in my lips.

Maybe, just maybe. He will come back and we can start again.

End