Desolate [Pokémon Arven x Protagonist]

I Have a Crush on Someone

But... I felt my smile slowly start to fade away. Why was I feeling so empty all of a sudden? I felt around in my pockets for my phone and unlocked the screen, leading myself to my contacts. My eyes automatically adjusted to the first name on my screen: Arven. My stomach turned again. Why did it keep doing that when I even thought about him? I scrolled down to who I was really searching for. I checked the time before pressing the call button beside Nemona's name. As it rang, I held it up to my ear, playing with my short's strings as I began to feel nervous.

Nemona picked up almost immediately as per usual. "Lugosi! How are you after your special, planned getaway?"

I felt myself sweating. I forgot she knew something was going on. I worried she would piece everything together. "I..." I started, regretting saying anything at all. I swallowed. Dodging it now would make it exponentially more suspicious. "I... feel weird."

Nemona audibly expressed a hum of confusion. "Like how weird? Did something happen when you were gone?"

My team were all staring at me now, concerned with my anxious state. I tugged on my white collar. "Recently... I've been feeling really happy and motivated to do crazy things I'd never think I'd be able to do before. It's not a bad thing; I used to be so...."

St0p cry!ng! T€ars s0lv€ n0th!ng!

"Lugosi?" I hadn't realized I'd stopped talking. In fact, I forgot what I was talking about at all. "You trailed off there. After you said feeling happy wasn't a bad thing?"

"Right." My Pokémon were wide-eyed and horrified now. Afraid of who I was when I drifted off. Something was happening. "Sometimes, when I'm happy..." I tried to find the words to explain my feelings. "I see others happy together, and then I get sad. I feel... empty. I know I'm not; I have a quest now—" I stopped myself before exposing the secret hangouts.

Nemona luckily didn't expand on it. "When you say you see others, do you mean, like, people?"

I thought about it. The only times I felt those depressions in my mood were when I noticed Arven was sad as well or when I felt like he was holding back from me or when I found out I wouldn't see his... smile... for several days. It was all about him. He made me sad. Why did he make me sad? "When I'm around," I stuttered, "someone, if he's not happy, I feel sad with him, even though I have nothing to feel sad about."

Nemona seemed to perk up, completely understanding the situation. "He? Who's he, Lugosi?"

I blushed madly, knowing I was caught. "Nemona! That's not—"

"Sorry, didn't mean to jump to conclusions," she apologized. "Not everyone is interested in a heterosexual relationship."

"Relationship?" I shouted. "Nemona, my feelings have nothing to do with a relationship! I'm not even in one!"

"Precisely," she snapped. "Youuu have a crush."

I clenched my fists in irritated anger. "I don't have a crush on anyone! This is serious, Nemona! I have no idea what's going on with my emotions right now!"

Nemona laughed hysterically. "Now I definitely know you do. Feeling happy when he's happy, feeling sad when he's sad, doing 'crazy things' all of a sudden... denial."

"I am not in denial!"

"That one sounded like denial."

"I am not in denial, and I don't like anyone like that!" Nemona was messing with me now, and I was fuming. I felt my entire body feeling heated.

"Let me guess," she chuckled, "You would do anything to see him happy. Even doing something as crazy as racing through the Pokémon League and beating the champion— who will be me pretty soon, by the way— just to see him look at you with his brrrilliant whatever-colored eyes you think are absolutely stunning and hear him say your name: 'You're so amazing, Lugosi, I'm so happy I met you!'"

"You're not helping, Nemona!" I angrily hung up on her as she laughed, rising to my feet and hanging my arms over my head to breathe.

What was wrong with her? The one time I ask her about something really serious, she turns it into a childish romance story.

I crossed my arms. "Lemme guess. You'd do anything to see him happy," I mocked. "She's delusional. I'm helping Arven's partner. Of course, he's happy about seeing Mabosstiff getting better, and I'm happy I'm helping their relationship and helping someone feel better." My Pokémon blinked at each other, clearly knowing something I didn't. "'Doing something crazy'. Do you think fighting titans for an incredibly powerful herb is crazy?" I asked Quaxwell. He nodded immediately, and I scoffed. I sat down at the edge of my bed and chuckled. "Her and her insane scenarios. When Mabosstiff fully heals, would Arven be the type of person to take time out of a wonderful moment to turn to me, reach out his hands to grab both of mine, look me in the eyes...." I felt my cheeks crack a smile as I thought about him again, the few times I've seen him completely break through his threatening persona and brighten the entire room with his sweet and excited energy. "He has such brilliant, stunning, shimmery eyes. I've never seen such a lovely turquoise color in all my life." I held my own hand and grazed my thumb with my other, deep in the fantasy. "He'd give me that adorable little laugh he did earlier today and tell me: 'You're amazing, Lugosi. I mean that. I'm so happy I met you...."

I froze in realization. My Pokémon were all wearing a look of disappointment with how long it took me to figure it out. "Great Arceus... I have a crush on Arven."