Anchor {h.s}

twenty-seven

"Yeah," I replied keeping my concentration on the pan.  

I scrubbed the pan in silence until it was almost good as new, my hands crisped from holding on so tightly to the handle and the sponge. I sighed as I released the pan in the sink, making a loud sound. Harry turned his head in my direction, but I kept my eyes on the pan.  

"I thought you had left," I admitted as a heavy silence fell between us.

Harry walked towards me, stopping a few feet away from me, hesitating if he could touch me or not and deciding that he shouldn't. "I would never have, Em," he whispered, tilting his head so that he would catch a glance at my face.

I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. "You just weren't there, and I thought- I thought you had, and it made me sick, and-"

Harry reached for me, pulling me into his chest and encircling me in his arms. "Shhh. I'm here, I didn't leave. Why would I leave?" He whispered into my hair as he held me tightly against him.

"I don't know. I thought you got scared, that you realized you couldn't do this or that you didn't want this anymore," I mumbled, my lips pressed against his chest.

"No Em, if anything, I realize how much I want to fix us, how much I want this," he said as he pulled away slightly and released me with one arm so that he could caress face with the back of his hand. "You have always been important to me, Em, but these past few days made me realize just how important you were to me. Not just the three days we spent without talking to each other, but from the moment I broke your heart, I knew that I had denied just how much you meant to me. I fucked up, I fucked up so badly, but I'm trying to fix it.

"I have to admit that I did get scared this morning, but not in the way you think. I got scared that you were going to say that you didn't want me anymore, so I thought that I had one last chance to prove that I wanted this and I tried to make you pancakes that turned out to be shit, because I can't do anything right, but I wanted to make something for you. Something that would make you smile. But instead you're crying again."

"Oh, Harry," I said, untangling my hands from behind his back and cradling his face, caressing his cheeks with my thumb. "You really mean that?"

"I do, Em. I do," he whispered before leaning in to rest his forehead against mine. "How about you, what do you think about that?" He asked with eyes filled with fear.  

I wasn't expecting us to tackle the subject yet, I thought that we would walk around it for a few hours and eventually discuss it. It surprised me to say the least and left me speechless for a second as I gathered my thoughts and my courage.  

"About trying?" I asked my voice uncertain. Harry nodded. "I want that," I admitted. "I can't let you go and I can't pretend that I don't want you as more than a friend." 

Harry's eyes stared into mine, slowly lighting up as each words came out of my mouth. The corner of his lips turned upward as one of his hands ran softly through my hair.  

"So we're doing it?" Harry asked, the fear that appeared in his eyes replaced by hope. "You're giving me a chance?" 

I nodded and immediately, before I could even register what was happening, Harry's lips pressed against mine. It was delicate, it was quick, but it made my knees shake and took my breath away.

My eyes opened as Harry pulled away. They looked at him, wide with surprise as his had a playfulness in them that was hard to resist.  

"I'm sorry," he said with a shy smile. "It was too hard to resist." 

I mirrored his smile before pulling away. Sadly, I knew that we needed more than this to be fine; I needed more than this. I needed explanations, I needed promises and a little bit of time before we actually made this official.