𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴

𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙮

"Oh mi amor," he cooed, "Here, let me move your hair. Did you eat something bad?"

The way his warm fingers grazed my neck to grab my hair sent shivers down my spine, and another wave of bile came up. He whipped his head away, but still loosely held my hair.

I spat the toothpaste out after I finished brushing my tongue.

"(Y/N), I love you. But that was so gross, never do that again," Alex chuckled out, leaning against the wall behind me. I could see his reflection in the mirror. I could feel his loving gaze as he watched me take a sip of mouthwash. My eyes made contact with his in the mirror, causing him to smile. Another pit formed in my stomach.

"I think it was because of the dinner you made," I tried to joke with him after spitting the mouthwash out. I was trying to act like things were normal, for my sake. If I had this last day with him, I wanted to try to enjoy it. Please, let me try to enjoy it. Please.

He let out a hurt scoff, which turned into a laugh, "I can't believe you. You should be lucky I cooked for you! My mother would be so proud of the food I made." I laughed with him.

"Whatever, just kiss me."

His small giggle filled my ears as his warm hands found their way on my waist. I placed my hand on his warm cheek and kissed him, our lips moving in sync. It felt so good to kiss him again. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss. He moved his lips to my cheek and peppered small kisses all over my face, causing me to giggle. After a moment of kisses, he fully embraced me and rested his head in the crook of my neck. I could feel his small breaths on my skin. My heart felt so full, and my stomach had butterflies in it instead of the normal pit.

"You know your coffee is getting cold," He whispered in my ear, sending chills down my spine. I huffed out and only tightened my grip on him. The feeling of the way his body vibrated as he chuckled made me smile. It felt so good to feel him again.

An hour had passed of us getting ready to leave. We now sat in his truck. The pit in my stomach grew again. I hadn't sat in this truck since this day. A small frown came to Alex's face as he grabbed my hand.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit down," He asked me softly, turning his upper body towards me. We were parked, so he didn't have to pay attention to the road. He only paid attention to me. There was so much love in his eyes. I felt so much love in my chest as I met his eyes with mine.

"I'm alright, just a bit tired. It's still early," I smiled, placing my hand above his. This seemed to satisfy him. He smiled brightly and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"You ready to go?" He asked as he cranked the car. I nodded and let out a hum of approval, not taking my eyes off him. I watched how he moved. I breathed in deeply, trying to keep the scent of him and his car for a little longer in my memory. It felt so good to smell him again. He turned the radio on and let out a gasp.

"Baby! Oh my god, it's our song!" He shouted as the familiar tune of Animals by Neon Trees played from his speakers. My throat immediately closed. The pit in my stomach got deeper and darker. I hadn't listened to this song since this day. My lips parted as I tried to figure out what to do. So many thoughts were running through my head before they suddenly stopped. Alex was singing along with the song. He was laughing and singing, to me. He was singing to me. I stared at him. A small smile appeared on my face as I reminded myself. This is our last day. Please let me enjoy it.

"Yeah, (N/N), sing with me!" Alex shouted as I joined in singing and laughing with him. Once again, the pit in my stomach was replaced with butterflies. I never took my eyes off of him as we sang together. Occasionally, he would glance over to me and smile. Everytime he looked to me, I was reminded of how much I love him. I was overwhelmingly in love with him. I'd never been happier than I was at that moment.

The song got a bit quieter, allowing me to speak out, "I love you, Alex." He turned to look at me, his eyes once again so full of love.

"I love you too."

It felt so good to hear him again.

The day full of mundane errands was now eventually coming to an end. It was 5:00 pm when we were walking, hand in hand, and Alex turned to me.

"(N/N), my head sorta hurts. Do you have any Advil or something on you?" His words sent a shock through my body. Suddenly, the butterflies that had made a home in my stomach for the first time in months were kicked out harshly as my stomach dropped. My mouth watered, my throat tightened, my lungs constricted, and my legs became wobbly.

"I uh," I choked out, looking for the right words. I knew what was happening. Somehow, I almost had forgotten what was so peculiar about this day. My heart raced. Even if I knew this day was starting to end, Alex didn't. I needed to act like everything was okay and normal for him. Just like we did when it actually happened.

I cleared my throat, "Sorry, totally just had a small stroke." This caused him to chuckle and tighten his grip on my hand. "Yeah, we have some Advil in the truck. Didn't know you were such a baby though."

"Hey!" He called out, laughing. I smiled at him and stepped in front of him. My hands grabbed his warm face.

"Aw, my little baby. Does his head hurt?" I cooed, leaving kisses all over his cheeks and lips. Alex just laughed out and held my waist, trying to protest that he wasn't a baby. I wasn't really listening though. I was focused on trying to remember the way my lips felt on his warm skin. The way his large hands felt on my waist. The way his laughter sounded. I was desperately trying to soak up everything I could.

After a dinner full of jokes and loving kisses, we now layed in bed beside each other. It was warm and dark, the only light coming from the street lights that faced across the window. It gave the room an orange glow, and only made everything feel more warm. The pit returned as we exchanged useless conversation and inside jokes. Alex's speech was a bit slurred now. Others would have thought it was because he was getting increasingly tired, but I knew. With every word he dragged on for a little longer than usual, my heart broke just a little bit more. It was all approaching very quickly. I leaned over and kissed his lips, Alex returning the favor, but lazily. As we pulled away, he smiled up to me with sleepy eyes.

"I love you so much, Alexis. So so much," I whispered, causing his smile to grow. My heart felt heavy as I spoke those words.

"I love you too, (Y/N). Goodnight, mi amor," He slurred out, his eyes now closing.

"Goodnight." A tear fell down my cheek as I layed back down and cuddled into his side. His arm was slung over my shoulder. I took a deep breath in, taking in his scent. A few more tears fell. It felt so good to lay beside him again.

"I love you," I mumbled out as my eyes closed.

My eyes opened to a bright light. I sat up gently and looked around, only to meet eyes with my therapist. He watched me carefully as I fully sat up and ran my fingers through my hair.

"(Y/N)? How do you feel?" He spoke softly, never taking his eyes off of me. This time he asked me though, I didn't feel as empty or angry. I did feel tears start to accumulate in my eyes though.

"I miss him."