My Inside Out Roommates AU!

Let's start off with some incorrect quotes!!

Freddie: Won't people think it's weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though?

Sarah: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries. 

~

Sarah: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Joy: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

~

Joy: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you're a coward.

Sarah: I'm worried about you.

~

 Sarah: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Billy: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50 chance that'll fix it, right?

Ira: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

Freddie: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Nadia: ...put it away.

~

Ira: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other.

*later, in a barfight*

Ira: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face*

~ 

Cop: You ran a red light.

Joy: So did you, hypocrite.

Cop: I was following you.

Joy: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.

Cop: Get out.

~

 Freddie: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Freddie: *waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro*

~

 *Joy dies in a game with ships*

Freddie: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us.

Freddie: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury.

Nadia: Legend has it that Joy still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks.

Joy: Of course I do.

~

Joy: I CAN'T DO IT!

Ira, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Joy: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Billy: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Joy:

Joy: I appreciate it,

Joy: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Nadia: Joy-

Joy: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Freddie: Joy we gotta-

Joy: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Joy: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Joy, motioning to Sarah: NOT FUCKING THIS!

~

 Joy: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Ira. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Ira!

Freddie: Nope.

Joy: In that case, as the archbishop of Freddie's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Ira right on the lips!!! 

~

Joy: A butterfly! Hey, little guy, gal or nonbinary pal!

Sarah: Can a butterfly be nonbinary?

Joy: I mean, maybe? I don't judge.

Freddie, staring dreamily out of the window: Ah, have you ever imagine having butterfly wings? Then-

Nadia: Then it would be inconvenient as fuck. Your wings would smack every doorframe and your clothes would have to have holes in the back.

Ira: Also, your wing's paper thin, so even a six year old aimed a NERF gun at it would... Yeah...

Billy: *sips coffee* According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a-

Freddie: No, nononono. You fuckers have already shattered my dream, you don't get the fucking privilege to make that reference.

Sarah: Also, it's about a butterfly, not a bee... Why would you make that reference?

Joy: You clearly have not lived with them long enough.

~

 Nadia: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Sarah's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

~

Ira: *points at Sarah* A human turtleneck, *points at Nadia* a narcissistic monster, *points at Billy* and literally the dumbest person I've ever met.

Billy: And who am I? Describe me now.

~

 Nadia: Life is like Ira. It's short.

~

Alright and that's it for now! Stay tuned for more chapters!