A L M A N A | The Mandalorian

Chapter 11: Sanctuary Pt.4

"Our lodging." He directs blankly. I nod, following.

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I watch the children play outside. They seem so happy and carefree. They had freedom? I frown as I stare, my head resting on my arms as I lean against the window in our shared room.

Mando is unpacking behind me. Grogu sleeping behind me as well.

"Why don't you go play with the others." It's not a question. My brows furrow as I look at him. His gaze already on me. Sensing my confusion, he elaborates.

"Might be nice to talk with people your age." I hum in thought. Right, my age. They seem so carefree that I forget I'm their age. Life has already aged me.

And for a second, I debate on whether to go outside and finally be carefree, but my body freezes me. I'm glued to my position. Was this a test? The minute I decide to walk out that door would he grab me too? Would he throw me on the bed and remind me that my childhood was striped a long time ago? That I belonged to him?

I frown, tears welling in my eyes.

I chuckle humorously making Mando's helmet tilt to the side in question.

"I'm not a kid anymore." I turn around and go back to staring out the window.

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The sun seemed to be close to setting. My stomach growled as I continued to watch out the window. Mando was fixing his weapons silently. Our conversation from before seemed to keep him quiet. A part of me wondered if I was right in hesitating. Could I trust him?

Every time I seemed to trust, every time I wanted to trust, that voice in the back of my head kept my fears alive, my experiences fresh, my heart guarded, and my soul broken.

"Almana." My eyes drifted to him. He sat there watching me, his weapon now discarded on his lap as he focused on me.

He unnerved me sometimes. That helmet. I hated that I couldn't see his eyes, his features, anything that I could use to read him. It was like looking at a soulless droid. I hummed softly. But he's not heartless. He saved me. He brought me comfort during moments of fear- in moments I lost hope in myself.

"What happened to you?" He spoke softly, the softest I had ever heard from him. His tone was like a whisper. As if he didn't want to know, but had to know for his own sake. I chuckled once more humorlessly.

"You know." I mumbled. He did. He knew of my previous 'occupation'. I was a slave in more ways than one. I was a tool used to steal, to punish, to pass around. I wasn't pure, I was dirty. My body littered in scars, my purity ripped away, and my hands calloused from devious sins.

"You're free now."

And suddenly, his words lit a match. My eyes snapped to meet that stupid visor of his. My hands clenched as my body became flushed with anger. "Am I?" I sneered. "I have a bounty on my head, a galaxy searching for me. I have a power I know nothing about that has sentenced me to death."

I stand up as my anger gets the best of me. He's silent. Rigid.

I scoff. "And now I have an emotionless droid breathing down my back about being a kid when- newsflash- I never was a kid. I've been on my own the moment I was born hence my name so don't tell me I'm free and that I can stop sulking because I will never be free and I will never get my childhood, or a normal life given to me!" My breathe is shallow as I take deep breathes to calm myself.