I walk past their marui and realize that this might not be the good time
They have a family meeting and I don't want to interrupt it in any way, so I just sit down between the two of our homes, letting my feet touch the water beneath me
Kicking my feet back and forth I completely zone off, only thing I could hear are their muffled voices, and I am not even paying attention to that
More like watching the water light up as I splash it around with my feet, over and over again until somebody interrupts
The person sits down next to me, making me look up
Like he knew I was waiting for him
"hey" I say as I am met with his figure next to me
"hi" he says softly
"I'm sorry I haven't been much around you guys-"
"this has nothing to do with you" he cuts me off while looking at me
"you are not doing well" I say as I look into the distance, it's painful to look at his eyes
"what do you mean" he asks, is he trying to avoid it, or does he really think that I have not seen it
"I mean you Neteyam, you are not you" I tell him and he just shakes his head in response
He slowly gets up holding out his hand for me "I can not talk about this here" he says as I take his hand, following him to the shore, the same place where we once were
The same place where he gave me the bead
Meeting with him always seem to happen during sunset
I sit down after him, him to my right once again
"I thought no one would notice" he starts out slowly "but you did" he says as he turns his head to me
While looking at me I just nod, trying to not interrupt his thought process, so he moves his head away looking in the distance, at a sunset in front of us
"and maybe you are the only one who can understand it more than anyone else"
"I am angry... disappointed, sad and lost. Also scared of the future, and what will happen next" he says, his voice desperate, like he was waiting to tell this to someone
"I understand my parents, and why we left, but am also mad that we did. Everything, I mean everything is back there, in the forest, what are we even doing among reef people" he slowly closes his eyes and lets out a breath
"I've given my everything" I let my head fall onto his shoulder, letting him know in any way that he is not alone
"I was even supposed to be damn Olo'eyktan, and now everything I worked hard for is gone and I am stuck here, with the life I don't even understand" he drags his hands over his thighs, like he is wiping the sweat out of his hands
I lightly place my hand over his, not even understanding why but it felt right
He just lets out a breath once again and leans his head over mine
"All I want is to make my parents proud, my siblings safe, but it seems like I can't do that, not like this"
"Neteyam" I cut him off, my voice sounding like an almost whisper
I understand what he is going through, to my luck I have passed that stage long time ago, but while he was saving and helping everyone else, nobody took care of him
Not even he himself
"that's the problem Teyam" I tell him, and it took me a second to realize that I actually called him Teyam
What the fvck am I doing
"you-" I start to stutter but I stop myself, slowly breathing in and collecting my thoughts
"you've been helping everyone since you came here, ignoring your own problems until they became too big for you to handle on your own" I say as I tighten the grip around his hand
"I completely understand how you feel, and if you ever need someone to talk to or just spend time with I am here" I tell him as I move my head lightly, making him move his too
I turn to face him, to look at his eyes, and here they are, looking back at me with life behind them, with a spark I so desired to see again
I smile at him
Admiring his face that's in front of me, and I have never really realized how beautiful he is
Really beautiful
He shines brighter than any star in the sky, his smile calms every thought in my head, and just looking at him gives me peace...gives me comfort in a weird way, but still makes my heart beat uncontrollably fast
I can't be like this, not after what almost happened with Aonung today
I slowly shift my body and he turns his head, I can not be thinking like this, I really can't
Am not even sure what to think of this situation, but the more I resist the more I want to look at him again
To meet his eyes one more time
"I thought that you will understand, did something happen to you" he speaks up
"similar story actually" I say to him whil remembering my old home, now understanding why he closed his eyes
"I took responsibility of a whole clan on myself, wanted to show my father that I am ready to take the role of Olo'eyktan but what happened in the end" I stop myself
It feels much harder to talk about this with someone else, but if he did it I will too "I was kicked out, that's why I came here with you, this island, to live here, because I don't belong anywhere"
"and you've been holding that inside this whole time" he asks me
"well you did too, didn't you" I try to make joke out of it, at least to brighten up the atmosphere
"I didn't realize the weight I was carrying, and it feels good to let it out" he replies
"you save everyone, but who saves you" I say "to really fulfill everything that you want to be, you have to find a way to really be happy, to be yourself"
"most of the times I feel like whatever I see in front of me isn't you, like you're hiding behind a mask, I do understand why now. But if that continues you will lose yourself" I tell him all in one breath
I've realized over some time that what I see in those eyes is him trying to break out, the spark is his will to come out of his shell
By having all this stuff to carry, all the responsibility on him, he can't relax, ever, or that's what he thinks
I feel like I finally understand my sister, she was a golden child too, still is, but she was always there for me, but was I ever there for her
I can't even remember
"how to even do that. I don't even know how to care for myself"
"then let me help you with that"
"how can you, you have your rites to pass" he says
"I can take few days off, I deserved it to be honest"
ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER PART
Hope you guyzs like this
Have to hurry up the romance a bit, so like ye prepare yourselves ig
Will be fillers too like Petani passing her iknimaya and stuff but nothing much
THANK YOU FOR READING <3
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
Sacrifice - Neteyam
काल्पनिक"I don't want to disrespect you in any way" he starts "so I am not doing anything until you ask me to do so, in front of Eywa" // Petani getting kicked out of her clan moves to Metkayina with Sully family and her friend (ex tsahik) Amate , where sh...
