Journey - REVISED EDITION

Trouble

"I don't know what's happened to you, what's made you doubt that things will be okay again, but I can tell you, as someone who felt that way too, it does get better. Eventually. You just have to work at it. Don't let whoever hurt you be the person that defines how you live your life. That's giving them more than what they took from you. And no one deserves to have their life taken away before it's time. Please Alex, don't let this break you. Let it make you stronger."

Alex suddenly feels like crying. He's not exactly sure why, but he's never really had someone tell him the things that Falcon has.

"If you ever want to talk about things, get stuff off your chest, or just need a hug, I'm here. We all are. You're not alone in this, I promise." Falcon smiles, but his eyes are sad.

Alex tries to take a shaky breath, but a small sob makes its way out instead. He tries to swallow it down. He doesn't want to cry.

"Hey, don't push it down. It's okay to cry." Falcon reaches out, but stops himself at the last minute. His voice is heavy with emotion.

Alex just shakes his head, and tries to make himself smaller, curling into a ball, his head tucked into his arms. He doesn't want to let go. He doesn't want to appear weak. But it's getting harder and harder to keep it all inside.

"Can I-" Falcon cuts himself off, sounding frustrated, and Alex opens his eyes and sees the frown on Falcon's face, the doubt visualized in the way the corners of his mouth are pulled down, and the eyes cautious. "Can I hug you?"

The soft words break the dam around Alex's emotions and a sob tears out of him. He feels so small, and vulnerable and he hates it, but he nods and a hand reaches out for comfort. Falcon's face crumples and he pulls Alex to himself, strong arms wrapping around the teenager.

Alex cries, and clings to Falcon's shirt as the sobs manage to rip their way out of him, leaving him breathless and exhausted.

"It'll be okay. I've got you."

"Everyone always leaves and it's not fair." Alex sobs out. "And I'm so tired of being alone, but no-one ever stays. They always leave."

"Hey." Falcon pulls back a little and puts his hands on either side of Alex's face, thumbs gently brushing the tears away. "I'm not leaving you. I promise."

"You can't – promise things like that." The tears have subsided only a little, little hiccups replacing them that make Alex feel so much younger than he is. "MI6, they'll just take me away. Or you'll have to go."

"Even if I'm not with you in person, I'm with you in spirit. If I have to go, I'll come back. I promise."

Alex jerked back to reality, the phantom feel of Falcon's arms around him making him feel colder and emptier than before. He was crying, taking huge gulps of air that only came right back out with a sob, and Liam looked very concerned. Snake was there too, holding Alex's forearms and saying something that Alex only now caught the end of.

"-wake up. Come on, buddy, talk to me."

"Please." Alex gasps out.

"Alex, hey, what's wrong?" Snake tries for a smile but Alex can see the worry right through it.

"I can't do this anymore." Alex sobs, his small form shaking. "Please don't make me do this anymore."

"Alex, we're not making you do anything." Liam says from behind Snake, but Alex doesn't acknowledge him.

"Don't let them take me back. I don't want to go back. Please don't make me go back. Please."

Snake gathered the boy into his arms, and Alex buried his face in the man's shoulder. Everything seemed so dark and heavy; the emotions were crashing over him, coming in waves with no reprieve.