Intersecting Lines

Chapter 2

                Mom returned with a much wider smile than usual. It's probably good news then. She sat on the chair beside me and she held my right hand with great relief.

"Sophie," she began. I'm quite puzzled but I tried to listen anyway. "I talked to Dr. Mills and she told me that you drastically improved and that your bones and torn muscles are restoring quicker than she expected. And it will be a lot quicker if you attend therapies." Mom finished her sentence and she looked at me with hopeful eyes. I got a little curious too. So I asked her something, which is very unusual since I got admitted. But for the first time I ask again.

"Could I join the competition on October?" I ask her. Figure skating season begins sometime in October which is roughly six months from now. I find myself holding my breath as I wait for her answer.

"Dr. Mills said that, you still have to go to therapy and heal and after sometime—"I needed to cut her off. Basically, she means that I have to start from the very bottom again and Dr. Mills will see if I could go and compete or if I should just stop. I became furious about that I didn't notice I snatched my hand away from mom's grasp.

"Forget it! I'm not going to therapies." I know I'm shouting but I have to. I just can't contain it anymore. This may be the last remains of my rebellion. And I'm sure I don't want to do it quietly this time.

"Sophie, you need to. You will—"I raise my voice above hers so I could cut her off.

"No!" I shout back. "I'm not! I will never get better! And that's the truth." Before I even knew it, I can feel tears blurring the image of mom.

"Sophie, we're looking for options—"she's calmly speaking but I cut her off again.

"I don't want options!" Yes, I don't need options because I, myself, made an option to die. And before I even know it, I told mom the thing I've been wishing for.

"I want to die. I want to die so badly." I tell her what I've been thinking of for the first time. And I thought she would slap me or shout at me but instead, mom walked outside, her hand covering her mouth. I can feel the stares of everyone in the room besides one. He wasn't looking at me like everyone else does. He was looking at his book as usual and he didn't even glance. I don't know why I looked his way but every part of me wanted to do so.

                Midnight came faster than I thought it would. They removed the cast on my left arm and replaced it with thick bandage. Mom didn't say a word since the argument this morning. I'm not regretting it. I don't have time to. I'm busy doing things in my head. How the suicide would go and how I will do it. The nurses help me sit on my wheelchair. I'm wearing a green cardigan over my white shirt. We're going to the get together at the fifth floor cafeteria. I say him going there too. He's wearing a simple green shirt and he wore jacket over it. Then he got his crutches and stood up. This is the first time I saw him not wearing pajamas but something that's presentable. This is also the first time I saw him stand up. He's quite tall, and now that I get to see it, he has a great built – broad shoulders and fit body. If I were to stand up, I would be around the height of his chest. I'm not that tall really.

                We made our way down to fifth floor and the elevator dings to a stop. It's my first time seeing new things since five weeks ago. It amazes me somehow. We reached the cafeteria and it's a bursting color of green. There's a big sign that says "Happy St. Patrick's Day" across the room that hangs just above the table where the food is. Everybody settles down and I try to calm myself too. Everyone seems engaged in the moment so I take the opportunity to get out of the room. I told my mom that I had to use the bathroom and she let me. I made my way out of the cafeteria and went to the nearest bathroom. When I reached the bathroom I immediately took out the bottle of pain reliever. Maybe, if I eat too much of this, it will numb me to the point that I die. I twisted the bottle cap and poured a handful of pills into my hands. I look at it for a moment and I was about to put it in my mouth when I someone entered by the door. I was frozen because I saw him, the guy beside my bed.