its okay to not be okay // tmf

Snapped.

Jake opened the fridge, scanning through it. There wasn't too many things, guess his mother forgot to go to the grocery store.

He sighed, closing the fridge, as well as closing his eyes and furrowing his eyebrows.

"Hey big bro!" Milo screeched, and Jake yelped, jumping.

"M-Milo! Stop- jump-scaring me like that!" Jake exclaimed, sighing out to calm his heart rate.

Milo shrugged. "Not my fault you're a scaredy-cat!" he giggled. Jake chuckled and began to walk away, Milo watching. The younger boy huffed and walked to catch up with Jake, walking in front of him. "What's in your ass this evening?"

Jake rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Nothing," he mumbled.

"Oh, please! You're acting all emo out of no where," Milo said, bringing his arms up behind his head and walking backwards like that. "Did you get dumped?"

"What? No. I don't- have a girlfriend," Jake stumbled, face palming.

"Right, forgot my big bro was a loser!" Milo scolded, then began to laugh. "Milo two, Jake zero! Milo back at it again," the boy said, his voice getting quieter as he walked away.

Jake entered his room, closing the door and slamming his back against it. His chest felt heavy, and he stared at the ground.

"Where did you go?" he whispered. Jake took a deep breath, hoping that would rid of the tight feel that lurked in his throat. He walked over to his bed, falling onto it with a hard blow. He yell-groaned into his pillow, curling into a ball as he grabbed his phone.

Jake just stayed in his room for the remainder of the night, waiting for his mother to return home. He had very little hope she'd return with groceries, but it was there.

It hit 11:57 PM and the front door finally slammed shut. Jake sighed and stood sluggishly, pulling himself out of bed and to his door. He made his way down to the kitchen, where he'd find his exhausted mother.

"Jake!" she sighed.

"Hi, mom. You alright?" he asked, watching as she leaned against the counter, face in her hands.

"Yeah yeah, go bring my purse to the rack near the front door," she instructed.

"Alright," he mumbled, grabbing the purse and dropping it off. He made his way back to the kitchen, making immediate eye contact with his mother. "Yeah?"

"You flunked another test, Jake," she said, disappointed.

"What? Which subject?" he asked. The last test he took was a math test, which he knew he got a good grade on.

"Math," she scoffed.

"What do you mean? I got a-" Jake started, only to be cut off by her.

"An 87%! You know I expect better of you!" she said, looking at him as if he were a failure. Which she made clear. "You failed me, Jake. Fucking failure! Can you do anything right?!"

"Mom, you don't mean that. Go get some sleep, you're tired," Jake tried, walking up to her.

"Don't touch me, asshole!" she yelped, slapping him across the face. She had slight regret, but couldn't come to be sorry for him. She was too exhausted to care.

Jake's eyes widened. Being hurt by her was an extremely rare occasion. He knew she was tired, though, and tried not to take it personally. She never cursed, furthermore cursed him out.

"I'm going to my room," he grumbled.

"Oh don't even start with me! You better not be giving attitude!" she yelled after him.

"Stop yelling, you're gonna wake Milo," Jake said calmly, turning back around to face her.

"I know you did not just fucking tell me what to do, you piece of shit!" she yelled, slamming her keys to the floor. "I bend over backwards for you two, and then I come home from a long fucking day at work and you treat me like this?!"

"Mom! Stop yelling!" Jake whisper-yelled.

"SHUT UP!" she screamed, slamming her hands down on the counter. Jake jumped, staring at her with wide eyes. "Fine. Go to your fucking room. I DON'T WANT to see your stupid face again for the rest of the WEEK!" she yelled, voice cracking.

"Not like you ever get the chance to! You're never home anymore!" Jake shot back, immediately regretting it.

"I have fucking work, dumbass! You think I can just leave to just come see your failure-ass and your brother?! I work to make money, you know that?! I work so that we can AFFORD a house! Afford shit!"

"Yet we never have anything to fucking eat! I mean, look at me! Look at Milo! Especially Milo! Due to you not caring enough to get us things to eat, w-"

"ENOUGH!" she screamed. "GO!" His mother pointed off to somewhere behind him, and he huffed, tears pricking the back of his eyes.

"Whatever," he mumbled, storming off to his room.

Almost arriving in his room, he heard a door open. He glanced at it, watching as Milo poked his head out and looked at him, rubbing his eyes.

"Jake?" Milo asked. "What happened? What's going on?"

Jake sighed, sniffing as he tried not to cry in front of his little brother. "Nothing, Milo. Get back to bed, gotta have enough sleep for school."

"But I can't sleep knowing that there was just screaming and fighting and it probably featured my lame big bro," Milo mumbled, tired.

Jake sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. He glanced back at the stairs, then moved closer to Milo.

"Me and mom had a slight argument. It's fine. We all get into arguments with our parents at some point. All good now!" Jake said, trying to sound cheerful as he ruffled Milo's hair.

"You sure? You look like you're about to start crying.." Milo said. Jake was just genuinely shocked Milo even cared.

"I'm okay. Don't worry about your lame brother," Jake chuckled, forcing a smile onto his dead face.

A door slammed downstairs, causing Jake to jump and Milo to look at the staircase.

"She's really mad.." Milo mumbled.

"Yeah yeah, same old same old," Jake tried to lighten the mood. Milo only kept his eyes down. Jake's smile faded. "You gonna be okay in here?"

"Me? Duh. I'm just worried about you," Milo said, looking up at his brother.

"Don't be," Jake said with a smile that so obviously wasn't genuine. Milo looked at him pathetically, totally not buying it. "What?? Look, I'm a teeny bit upset about the fight, I will admit, but if I'm not feeling better by tomorrow, I'll let you knock some sense into me," Jake said.

Milo sighed. "I don't wanna hurt you. I want you to feel better. Even if I don't act like it, I love ya, big bro," Milo said, hugging Jake, who actually smiled genuinely.

"I love you too, Milo," he said sweetly. "Go back to bed, okay?"

"Okay.."

"I'll see you in the morning." Jake offered a smile towards Milo, who exchanged one.

"Alright. I better see you," the shorter boy said, turning and shutting his door quietly.

Jake's face immediately dropped, tears crowding his eyes. He stormed off to his room, shutting the door, locking it, throwing himself onto his bed and just began sobbing.