Malachite | L. S [Completed]

16: Most Ardently

"You..." Louis' heart fastened its beats as he neared Harry, unable to stand his distressed scent. "You loved me?"

"More than anything. And I feared you didn't. I was so much younger than you, lower in rank, youngest of my family and I had not even had my first heat -- why would you ever love me?" When Louis wrapped his arms around Harry, he broke down into trembling sobs, fisting Louis' nightshirt as though he was being taken away again. "You did not even bid me farewell. You never said you were going away forever."

"I wanted to, more than anything I wanted to hold you in my arms and give you something of mine, but your lord father was persistent. I wished to have asked to court you on your sixteenth nameday." The wetness of Harry's tears on his skin was akin to acid, and Louis wanted to scream. "I had even asked my mother for our ancestral necklace just so I could present it to you. I did not realise they were going to send me away for so long when I was being taken to the capital, or else I would have duelled your lord father to allow you and I a moment."

"I love you still," Harry whispered and the world stopped. Wide-eyed, Louis looked at his bride to find him staring at Louis longingly, as though the confession had been hollow. "And I wanted to tell you for so long, all those summers we spent together, I wished for nothing more than to tell you. But I feared what we had was merely something you wanted for pleasure, for you never attempted to court me. And then Leah--"

"Leah," Louis growled. He did not understand why she was as resolute to ruin everything in Louis' life. He had never been cruel to her, never treated her with disrespect. "What did she do?"

"She told me you would never wed me. I... I was tainted, I would merely ruin your bloodline. W-w-whores like myself did not deserve a prince such as you."

"She told you all of this?"

"Among other things, yes," Harry's voice was barely there as if he was fearful of anyone hearing him. Louis did not know what to say, how to decipher what he had been told but then Harry spoke again, voice so frail that Louis had to hide him in his embrace. "I did not want it, Lou," he said, whimpering and Louis felt his stomach lurch. "You had always asked me if something h-had happened w-while you were... you were gone and I would always s-say it h-hadn't. I w-was so terrified that -- that you would not believe m-me i-if I h-had told you the t-truth."

"Harry--" Louis' throat closed and his breathing faltered. No. It could not be. And as Harry's cries morphed with his breath, heart erratic against Louis' chest, Louis held his sentiments. "You mustn't force it if you do not wish to tell me."

"No, I must! It has been killing me from within! I cannot hold this inside of me anymore. Please, do not hate me. I did not want it, Louis, I promise I did not."

Louis pressed his lips against Harry's temple as he held him closer, his heart aching realising his deepest fear was in fact true. "I love you, I love you. I love you no matter. I love you."

"I-It was two summers a-after you w-were gone," Harry's voice trembled akin to his frame but Louis stood as stern as a rock for the two of them, soothing his hand over the expanse of Harry's back. "I had s-spent the past summer writing to you and then I had l-l-lost hope. I was m-mending my b-broken heart, Louis, blurring m-my reality with liquor. Our f-families were spending the s-summer together habitually, and I... I had begun talking more and more w-with Leah because she had your eyes. I should not have! I should not have done that, Lou! I was intoxicated but I know I refused him. I fought, too, but they were so much stronger and Leah used her voice."

Words lost in his throat, Louis felt every inch of him break. Harry cried silently, holding Louis as if he was fire in a winter blaze. He could not think, could not breathe. But he needed to know. "W-who is 'him'?"