A drop in the ocean • Neteyam x Reader

Chapter 4

"When I first found this place, it was the second night here. I snuck out, got on the ilu, and swam."

"Hmm, not very Mr. Daddy's perfect soldier of you." you raised your eyebrows. When his smile dropped you felt bad that you used the term again.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't-" you placed your hands on his shoulder and arm.

"No, it's okay. It's just." he took a deep breath. "That's the thing, here. I don't have to be him. I'm not the future Olo'eyktan anymore. In the forest, that's all I did. I love my parents, but I feel like I never got to truly bond with my siblings as much when I got older. Like the bond, you have with them. I always watched from afar." you still had your hands on him; you were so close to his face you could see his eyelashes, count them even. With the way your body was angled towards him, your knee was pressing against his thigh

"I sat here, and I cried. I cried for the life I had lost, all my life of having the pressure of being the next Olo'eyktan, the pressure of being perfect all the time; I thought my entire life was already planned right in front of me,is that all I was? Daddy's perfect soldier? Who am I now that it's gone, what am I worth?" a tear spilled down his cheek. And then I remembered what dad always says." he turned to look at you.

"One life ends-"

You finish his sentence.

"Another begins."

You latched onto him, and his eyes widened. He felt your legs on each side of him, straddling him. But it wasn't sexual, just comforting. His long arms wrapped themselves around your waist, and he buried his face in your hair and neck. You two stayed in that position for a couple minutes when you felt a ball start to form at your throat.

"I'm sorry you even had to bare that burden on your own Neteyam. I wish you could've told me earlier how you felt."

His gaze softened "When? I could never get you alone. You with Lo'ak and Kiri. Me, stuck doing future Olo'eyktan things." His head shook a little.

"Well, now there is no excuse. I'm right here. You aren't just a perfect soldier, Neteyam. You're so much more, even before we came here. Never think that's the only thing you're worth".

Neteyam is kind,he's considerate, loyal, funny confident, well spoken, sensitive, thoughtful older brother. He really is a natural leader, but he wasn't just born to be a leader. He is just Neteyam.

"I-I need..I-l" you started to choke up, tears filling your eyes

"Y/n, what's wrong? Speak to me" he pulled back from you to see your face.

"My parents." the tears wouldn't stop, "for the longest time, I've shoved away any thought of them. Pretending it didn't exist. But I can't help but feel like, in a way; I've abandoned them. I don't even live where they lay anymore." you clenched your teeth, sucking in a breath between them, and let out a sob; you looked away.

"Y/n, listen to me; look at me" he grabbed your face with his hands, cradling it. "You never abandoned them, never."

"Neteyam, I don't even speak about them anymore. At least not out loud." his thumbs brushed away the tears.

"Everyone deals with death differently. It has been almost two years since they died. Maybe back then, you were not ready to face it at 14. But now you are 16, nearly 17. How could you expect yourself ever to be ready to grieve with something like that?"

You grabbed his wrists as he continued speaking. "you did not abandon them; they would be so proud to see the woman you have become. You have grown so much and started a new life. You could have chosen to stay in the forest, forget about us. Instead, you came here with us, bearing the danger and consequences with us. Like a true family member. How could they possibly be mad at you for holding on to the new family you were given."

"Neteyam-" the sobs wouldn't stop, this was only the second time you had ever cried about their deaths.

"With the help from your parents and Eywa, they gave you this family. This fortress."

For the first time since their death, you felt like you could genuinely take a breath of fresh air.

"You're right. Thank you." you pressed your forehead against his, you both fell silent. Just listening to the sounds of the ocean.

In that moment all he wanted to do was say the words. Confess that he had loved you all his life but, he just couldn't. The emotions were too raw. It would be too much. Instead took his hands from your face and placed them on your shoulders.

"Let's go for a swim like I said come on." he let you get off him and helped pull you to your feet. Neteyam swore he had never been calmer than at this moment. You felt the same way. With Neteyam, you had always felt calm, yes, the occasional butterflies would appear along with your heart beating faster and the burning sensations, but you were always relaxed.

You swam with Neteyam, playfully tacking him; he would pick you up and throw you around, gently, of course. You swam underwater, going over and under each other. You walked hand and hand back onto the sand bar. You were both so happy.

But happiness can only last for so long.

You both looked back to the clan, hearing yelling and commotion. It had gotten dark, yes, but super late? No. Were they looking for you two? No. Neteyam had told Kiri where you would be.

Then you heard it.

"Lo'ak! Where are you!" "Lo'ak!"

They were all searching for Lo'ak.

...
Omg that was so long. I hope you read it completely because it took me forever. 😔🤞