I will never be able to forget that morning. I woke up to the smell of rotting flesh and the sound of flies buzzing around the box we had to put our dog in. There's 5 feet of snow and the ground is rock solid underneath so we couldn't bury him. I remember throwing up green sludge and not knowing when I'd be able to have my next sip of water. It's been eleven days since we've lost our electricity and water. The pipes busted, but luckily dad had a few cases of water so we were able to hydrate, bathe and cook over the fire for a while. However, it's been three days since we've used the last of our water. We're down to four pieces of bread and uncooked potatoes. We don't have anymore wood to burn so we've resorted to clothing.
Dad and my older brother, Caleb, were getting layered in whatever clothes we had left to go find more wood and, hopefully, food. Mom was panicked because no one is sure what's out there. Whatever those creatures are, they took my uncle Joey and my cousin, Jessica. The temperature is -32 degrees and the wind is roaring. They have one flashlight to share and a stopwatch to tell how long they've been gone. My mom cries as she hugs my dad and brother, and they head into the outside. That was the last time I saw my father.
CHAPTER ONE
Our clock read they'd been gone forty-five minutes, however their trip was only supposed to last thirty. Mom held my little sister, Clair, and paced the bunker. I could see the fear spread across her face when I glanced at her. I was patrolling the gap between the doorframe and the outside, waiting to see their light flicker toward us. I was worried, but didn't want to make it known to my mom. I had to stay strong for her and my sister because mom was an absolute mess. Clair was barely two, so she didn't have a clue in the world. All she cared about were her "bite bites". We were all getting hungry.
An hour and twenty minutes later, still no sign of them. Mom had disappeared under her covers after Clair went to sleep. I was still sat by the door, waiting for their sign of return. I started to doze off after a few minutes from exhaustion. That was until I heard the hatch tear open and rapid breaths echoed from the shadow figure, who was now descending into our bunk. Mom jumped out of bed and grabbed the shotgun. I hear her cock it as my brother Caleb screams out in horror, "Mom! It's me! Please!" He drops to his knees and is obviously shaken up. Mom gasps and runs to Caleb, who is now sobbing on the floor. He was pale as if he had seen a ghost.
After a few moments of Caleb trying to gather himself, I bring him a blanket and mom tries to calm him down so we can get his story. We didn't know where dad was or what had happened while they were out there. Caleb had a scratch down the left side his cheek, all the way to his mouth. Mom started to patch that while Caleb drank his water.
"They got him-" Gasps Caleb in-between his shallow breaths.
"What do you mean, honey? What happened?!" My mom grabs her chest and I can see she began to panic again.
"We were following a doe to bring for dinner when one of those-" Caleb stares blankly, clearly traumatized.
"Oh, honey." Mom wraps her arms around him and they both begin to sob.
I hear Clair wake up, so I take care of her while my mom handles the news. Her husband, and father of her children, just got killed while trying to provide for his family. It doesn't help that mom is pregnant and also needs to be here for us three kids.
Clair and I play a game of ISpy in her part of the room before getting her ready for bed again. I was helping her use the bucket, which was now our toilet since we'd ran out of diapers and the toilet could no longer flush. I lay her in her bed, which was a converted drawer. After one story and a few minutes of back scratches, Clair was fast asleep again.
I made my way back to the main living space where mom and Caleb were. Caleb had fallen asleep on his cot and I found mom sat by the font door, smoking a cigarette and writing in her journal. I sit beside her and I could feel her sadness. She didn't look like herself, and she hadn't smoked in over a year. I watch her take a drag of her cigarette. She looks at me before handing me one.
"Sure, I guess." I was hesitant at first, but I took the cigarette as she lit it for me. What harm could a little nicotine do in this environment? Besides, it was my sixteenth birthday.
I take a few hits before I start coughing. My head feels dizzy, but it's a good feeling. My mom half smiles at me and I laugh as I lay my head on her shoulder. She sets her journal down and holds my head toward her.
"I'm so sorry baby," I hear her start to cry, "I wish I could take his place."
"Don't say that, momma. It ain't your fault." I lift my head and look at her as I grab her hand.
"I know baby, I just-" She exhales, "I don't know what to do now. We're out of food, water, your baby brother will be here in a few weeks.." She looks me up and down before hitting her cigarette again.
"I know, mom. I think I should go this time..." There was a long pause.
"I don't know, Cassie. I don't think that's a good idea." She stares at my hand.
"Mom, come on. You know how well I've been doing with the new prosthetic. I can do this. Please."
When I was thirteen, Caleb was sixteen. I was helping dad feed the goats while he taught Caleb how to control the tractor. He had cut through the barbed wire at full-speed after the pedal got locked into gear. Luckily my hand was the only thing that was in the way of the tires. I lost four fingers on my left hand and my thumb was holding on by a vein. They ended up amputating the entire hand, up to my elbow. Luckily they were able to fit me with a prosthetic.
Caleb had been trying like hell to apologize for three years, but he won't accept the fact that it was an accident. In the end, I feel guilty for being in the field. I wish I never fed the goats. Ever since then, our relationship hasn't been the same. Even in the hospital, he wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't visit me, yet he offered to cut off his hand and donate it to me while speaking to the doctors. And on this night, he felt liked he failed us again. My dad was gone and so was the last little bit I had of my brother.
