LOTF: Before and After

Phase 3: Chapter 55

On the upcoming two year anniversary of this tragedy that took the lives of eighteen cadets and one of our beloved captains, we are honored to be holding a commemoration ceremony here at Bainbridge Military Academy for all members of our school community. This ceremony will be dedicated to all nineteen lives that were lost and their families. We will be hosting this ceremony of rememberance on the anniversary, September 6th 1992, in our assembly hall starting at 1800 hours EST. All are welcome to attend, including families whose children are no longer enrolled at the academy. We hope that you and your family can join us in honoring, celebrating and remembering the those precious lives we lost nearly two years ago now.

Sincerely,
Head Officer Ronald Bailey &
Bainbridge Military Academy."

Ralph didn't realize there were tears running down his face until he finished reading the email. His hand was shaking atop the computer mouse as his heart rate became sporadic. Ralph suddenly felt like he was suffocating. He couldn't even remember why he was in here, reading his dad's emails, in the first place.

"Ralph? What are you doing in here?" he heard his dad's voice in the doorway behind him.

Ralph turned the chair around to meet his father's eyes. Ralph's were bloodshot and swollen, his face stained with tears that continued to steadily flow. Jeffery's face went hollow with shock as he stared from the boy to the screen behind him.

"Ralph" his dad said in a small, sad voice. He approached him in the chair and bent down in front of him so they were eye level. "We were going to talk to you about this. We don't have to go, kiddo. It's okay if you just want to put all this behind you, we understand. There's nothing wrong with that. We'd never force you to do anything you don't want to do, okay?"

Ralph stared into his dad's eyes, tears flowing unnoticed down his own face. He took a moment to consider what Jeffery said. "I wanna go" Ralph decided, his voice croaky from a mix of both puberty and agony.

"Are you sure?" his father questioned his decision. "Don't feel like you have to go out of obligation or anything like that. Nobody expects you to be there, Ralph. Not us, not your friends, not the school, nobody. Everyone is going to understand what choice you and every other kid you were rescued with makes about this."

"Jack" Ralph's eyes went wide as he realized that Jack's family must've gotten the email too.

"You don't have to do what Jack does" Jeffery assured him. "Even if he decides to go, that doesn't mean you have to. And even if he decides not to, that doesn't mean you can't go" he pointed out under the assumption that Ralph could very easily decide to base this decision solely on the boy he'd spent the last year building his life around.

"It's not that" Ralph responded softly. "I'm just worried about him. If he knows about this, maybe he's not doing okay. I should call 'im" Ralph thought out as he urgently attempted to stand up from the chair. Jeffery stopped him before he could stand, holding him back until he plopped back down, a confused look on his face.

"Ralph, take a bit of time to sit with this before you decide, okay? You can call Jack later" Jeffery declared in an effort to prevent Ralph from making a decision right away, or based on that Jack Merridew might make.

"But—"

"No, Ralph. You are not calling Jack right now. That's my final decision, don't ask me to change my mind. I'll let you know when you can call him, alright?" his dad said firmly.

"Fine" Ralph accepted with defeat. He sighed heavily as his dad moved to let him stand up. Ralph was evidently upset with him; it was made clear in the passive-aggressive way he stormed out of the room.

A few minutes later, Laurie entered the office shortly after Jeffery got back to working.

"Jeff, hon, what's going on with Ralph?" she asked with dire concern.

"He read the email" Jeffery spun around in the chair to face his worried wife.

"The one from the academy?"

Jeffery nodded in confirmation as his wife let out a heavy sigh. She took a minute to think before she spoke again.

"So he doesn't want to go, I'm guessing?" Laurie assumed as she tried to figure out what had set her angered son off.

"No, actually, he said he does want to go. He's mad because I didn't let him call Jack to talk to him about it. I didn't want him making a decision based on whatever Jack might decide to do. I told him to take some time to think it over on his own and make up his own mind before discussing it with Jack" Jeffery explained. His wife could tell that he was both tired and frustrated.

"Good, I agree with you on that" Laurie said as she approached him. She sat down on his knee and Jeffery wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder as she leaned her head against his.

"I'm glad you think so" Jeffery smiled. "I was worried you might get mad at me too."

"Why would you think that?" she asked defensively.

"We tend to disagree about a lot of things when it comes to Ralph and all the island-recovery stuff. I thought you might rip me a new one for upsetting our precious little boy" Jeffery admitted lightly.

"Well of course I'm not happy to see him so upset but I don't want him doing something just because Jack is or isn't. And considering how much time he spends with, and even just talking about Jack, I'm sure it'd be easy for him to let Jack decide for the both of them. I've seen it happen before" Laurie observed.

"Jack does tend to wear the pants in that relationship" Jeffery joked lightheartedly.

"Don't ever say that in front of Ralph" Laurie defensively warned him.

"I wouldn't" Jeffery defended. "Of course I wouldn't" he added when Laurie raised her eyebrows at him.

The couple both smiled knowingly at each other, consumed with both love and affliction for their struggling son and for each other.

"I hope he does decide to go" Laurie said after a few moments of comfortable silence. "I think it might help him find some closure from this whole thing. It might help him to move past it; aid in his recovery. I think he really holds onto it at times. He lost at least one or two friends during it; his roommate, the Bennett boy, and at least one other, I think. I worry that he keeps himself trapped in the tragedy of it all in order to hold onto them."

"Has he ever said anything like that to you?" Jeffery wondered how she came to that conclusion.

"No, he's hardly said anything to me about it at all" his wife answered honestly. "And that's part of the problem. It's been two years since it first happened, a year and a half since they were rescued. Don't you think it's time he starts to work through it?"

"He's always been trying to work through it, Laur. It may not be in a way we understand. I hate that he hasn't included us in it, doesn't want to talk to us about it. But that doesn't mean he hasn't been trying to work through it. It's all he's been doing for the past year and a half. Working through it just might not look the way we expect it to."

"Well, I hope you're right" she admitted, much to Jeffery's surprise. "For Ralph's sake, I really do hope you're right."