on temporizing || Dream SMP Timeloop Fic

Chapter 12

"I know."

Tommy stopped, taken aback. "You know?"

"I know," Ranboo deadpanned. "Tubbo told me about your rants."

"I will be having words with him," Tommy muttered, then turned to Ranboo. "Stay away from 'im, you hear?"

Ranboo nodded, the same way an indulgent adult would nod at a small child spouting nonsense. "Okay, Tommy."

"I'm being serious!"

"He's really not that bad," Ranboo countered. "If you spend some time with him--"

"I absolutely refuse-- "

"Tommy!"

Tommy shrieked as a hand landed heavily on his head, ruffling his hair. He whipped around and batted the offending appendage away, then kicked Dream in the shin for good measure. Dream simply sidestepped, letting his foot hit empty air. "Hello to you too, child. Are you here to join us?"

"I will murderize you," Tommy promised darkly. "I will kill you until you're dead, and then I'll burn your body and dance on the ashes."

"Okay," Dream chirped, completely unbothered. He ruffled Tommy's hair again. "Have fun."

Tommy let out an enraged scream and lunged for his throat.

57. toddler tales, pt. 3 

"Why couldn't we have done this in my office?"

"Because," Quackity drawled, his hands folded behind his head. "Taxes are boring, and if we talked about them at your office I'd fall asleep."

"So you dragged me out here," Tubbo deadpanned. Quackity shrugged.

"It's a nice day. When was the last time you saw the sun?"

"This morning."

"Let me rephrase that. When was the last time you saw the sun without a window in the way?"

Tubbo's silence was telling. Quackity nodded sagely. "Exactly. I get that you're the president and you got shit to do, but you gotta take care of yourself too. Running yourself into the ground isn't gonna help anyone."

Tubbo sighed. "Quackity--"

There was a snap of a twig breaking. Quackity whipped his head in the direction of the sound, drawing his axe. Behind him, Tubbo pulled a sword from his inventory.

"Who's there?" The vice president of L'Manberg demanded.

A pause. The two watched warily as the underbrush shivered, the sound of two people whispering not-so-quietly reaching their ears. And then a child tumbled out of the bushes and onto the path, bringing up his tiny fists like he was about to throw a punch. A second child shuffled out after him, giving them a wide berth.

"Wha--" Quackity spluttered, lowering his axe. "Kids?"

"Are you gonna kidnap us too?" the first child demanded.

Tubbo stared at him. His shock of blonde hair, his blue eyes, his voice. . .

"Tommy?" he blurted. The child gaped at him.

"Tubbo?" he asked. "Oh my fucking Prime, you're ma-- mash-- massi--"

"Big," the child hiding behind Tommy piped in.

"--big," Tommy finished, nodding his head. Then he paused. "Wait, so the kidnapper wasn't lying?"

"Mister Minecraft said he trus- trusted him, right?" the mystery child pointed out. "So he's not a liar."