Finding my own way

x 9

I just got done with that long ass meeting. All we talked about was the amount the kids that will be coming in next week and the pay checks. They said that they wold raise our checks to 300$. Everyone so happy. I got out and walked to the station and got on the train. While I sat down I got a text from ant.

{Text convo}

From Ant-

Hey baby girl, how was work?

To Ant:

Hey! and it was good what u doing?

From Ant-

nothing much just thinking about u tho and I just wanted to say srry for walking out w/o saying bye to you

To Ant:

It's ok and awwwwww u was thinking bout me that's so cute lol

From Ant-

Yea ya boy was thinking bout u but where u at know it's getting a little dark don't u think? lol

To Ant:

Lol I'm in the train dad lol and where r u?

From Ant-

I'm at home waiting for u to get home. I don't have to fuck up no one for fucking with u

I laughed at that he think he scaring someone

To Ant:

Well I don't think no one is going to mess with me cause I got you by my side. And btw I'm walking to my house now.

From Ant-

Well ok bebe I'll talk to you tomorrow at school night.

To Ant:

I'm bebe now huh? lol night love.

Bebe........ I like the sound of that.

I walked up the stairs and through my window. I took of my work clothes. I took a shower and wrapped my hair up I got hungry so I cooked something. My dad wasn't here for the pass few days so I was safe. After I was done I went to got back to my room but something was telling me to go in my mom's room.

I walked in there and saw her with a spoon a needle and that white stuff. She was about to stick the needle in but I stopped her just in time.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU YELLING AT BUT YOU NEED TO TAKE IT DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

"YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE DRUGS KNOWING THAT YOUR FUCKING PREGNANT WITH YOUR KID?"

"I CAN DO WHAT EVER I WANT TO DO WITH THIS KID! BUT IT'S ALREADY DONE ANYWAYS! I REALLY DIDN'T WANT THE DAMN KID ANYWAYS!"

I stood there processing what she just said to me right now. Did she just say that she killed my brother or sister? That was the last straw I had with this so called of a family. I looked at her then at the needle then the blood that was on the bed. And there was a lot of blood. I attacked her and we landed on the floor. I punched her in the face on and on. I let all my anger on her the time she almost sold me to some man at 5, the time I found out my brother died, the time she let my father rape me, the time she almost made me sell my body at 10. All those memories had came after each punch.

I grabbed her and pushed her in the wall making a whole in the wall, trowing her across the room and just taking my anger out on her. The one person that was supposed to be there for me from birth is not not even there anymore. I just kept punching her til I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist and bring me to room. They closed the door and stay me on the bed and held me like a baby.

Anthony.

I sat there and cried all night I was shaking and breathing uncontrollably.

"Ant!..anthony!.....she killed em!.....she killed em!" I sobbed in his shirt.Those were the only world I could say right now.

"She has always hated me! I was never like her, she always wanted me to like the person she is now!"

I moved from his grip and walked to the window. It was raining.

"You what she did to me when I was 8?" He shook his head no.

"She brought me to this crack house and brought me to this room where there was drinking and smoking. I remember men.....a lot of men in that room. She left me in that room and waited out side the door. Do you know what the man said to me?"

He said no."He said that my mother......my own mother told them to rape me. When I heard that I ran to the door and stood my mother stood there waiting for me. She beat me for running away. She told me to go back in there and she let them molested me while she sat there watch and got high."

I cried and slid down on the ground. I put my knees up to face and rocked slowly. Ant came next to me and pulled me in to him. He let me cry on him and I'm so grateful for him being here for me. I clammed down some and he picked me up and put me in the bed. He went to my bathroom and got some Tylenol and put on my night stand with a bottle of water. He took off he shoes, shirt, pants, and hat. He locked to door and window and got in the bed with me.

He pulled me in to him and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me on my head and I fell a sleep like that.