You're perfect to me

Perfect

Dean hated this. He hated when he felt like this, he just wanted to crawl into bed and never leave. He just wanted Cas to hold him but of course he would never ask that. So he just popped his earbuds in and headed to the kitchen, thanking the god he knew abandoned everyone that they had a place to call their own. As he entered the kitchen he heard Castiel in the living room "Cas?"
"Yes Dean?"
"Oh hey.. Morning"
"Are you alright?" The ex angel asked standing up and turning towards him "yea!" He answered quickly "'course I am"
"How did you sleep?"
"Uhh good I guess?" That was a blatant lie. He thought grateful that Castiel could no longer hear his thoughts- "who is pink? And why are they named after a color?"
"Uhh she's a singer and that's just a stage name, why?"
"I was on the youtube and came across her music"
"I have some on my phone if you want..." Dean trailed off holding out his phone and the earbuds he had long since pulled out.
"Thank you. May we go to your room? Sam won't wake up for another hour or so."
"Uhh okay.." But he still led Castiel to his room
"Dean"
"What?"
"I've known you for years. What's wrong?"
Dean momentarily panicked forgetting the ex angel could no longer read minds. "I'm fine Cas, seriously what's up?"
"You seem... Sadder but more at ease."
"Yeah" was all Dean said before flopping back down onto the bed rolling over so Castiel could sit down "you wanted to look up P!nk - I'm on the playlist already. Just.. Don't tell Sam I like this song okay?"
"I- ok" Castiel said as he sat down next to him and handing a earbud to him and pressed play
Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around
Cas smiled as he heard Dean humming along with the words
"Dean why don't you sing?" He asked looking at him,face full of curiosity as the hunter blushed "I.. I uh I don't sing.."
"Oh on the contrary I've heard you sing while your working on your car. Just try. Please?"
"Alright restart the song- wait no pull up a lyric video so I can see the words"
Cas just smiled and shoved himself closer to Dean "here"
Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Castiel grinned whispering "beautiful" and softly sang the next part hand on Dean's,
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

"Dean no matter what.. You're free of the hunt. you have a home and a family. You've always been such a great man who cares for others more than himself, Dean...

You're so mean when you talk About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead.
He sang, slipping an arm under Dean's shoulders in a sort of half hug-half cuddle as he sang the words hoping the Hunter would figure it out "Cas... You heard me last night didn't you?"
He hummed in response "you needed someone to tell you these things. Because you know deep down its true"
"You are the righteous man.. You are fucking perfect Dean Winchester and you need to put yourself dirt once in a while"
Dean just sang the next line and it was enough
So complicated, Look how we all make it. Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game It's enough, I've done all I could think of Chased down all my demons I've seen you do the same..."
You are childish with your emotions Dean... I know that your father and hell broke you but we're here to help put you back together.."what happened last night?"
The Hunter just rolled over and buried his face into Castiel's shirt before mumbling "I think I had a panic attack. I haven't had one in years though.. After it was over I just laid down listening to soft music until I calmed completely"

"Why didn't you come to one of us?"
Castiel asked running a hand up and down Dean's back
"I'm the strong brother! Sam need to know he can look up to me. I can't be weak. I have to keep Sammy and you safe"

"No you don't " the ex angel softly scolded him "it's okay to be weak when you need it"

"Whatever" he sighed but stiffened when Cas's hand came to rest in his hair "why.."
"Because you need physical affirmation of someone's love. I could tell you all day and you would just laugh it off. But if I show it you accept it better"
Dean tried not to smile into Castiel's shirt "love?"
"Yes Dean. Always." He tapped the phone placing it to a certain point in the song so he could sing it, just because he figured out Dean understands music better
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me.
"I'll text Sam and tell him you weren't feeling well. You need to be able to take a you day with someone to hold you"
Looking up Dean said "I'm fine. I'm not hurt or sick"
"Dean... Being hurt isn't just physically. You need time to just lie here and heal your emotions and mind too"
"Fine but you stay. And just incase you didn't know... I.. I love you too. Always have Cas.. I just wanted to make sure you knew I loved you too."
"Oh Dean, I'll always love you.. I'll never leave you. Even when we grow old. I'll follow you I had already made certain you and Sam went but I can too. I'll never let you feel so alone again"

Lyrics are from p!nks song - perfect and the idea for this came in a dream... Maybe I'm the next prophet??