Mental Beatdown

DashCon

So here's the big one. The shitty part. That's right, we haven't even hit the shit, yet.

At around 9 PM on the first night, the convention organizers got EVERYONE into one room that attended. They made jokes like "Haha everyone thought 4Chan got you here but they're too dumb duuurr dur durdy fuckin' dur," and then proceeded to BEG FOR $17,000 FOR MONEY THAT THEY NEVER PAID. That's right. Remember that "first day payment" thing I mentioned earlier, in their contract with the hotel? They decided "nah, bro, too patriarchal. It's probably a man running this." Or, at least, that's what I assume they thought. So they got onstage and BEGGED. CRIED. FOR SEVENTEEN. THOUSAND. DOLLARS. Oh, and it had to be paid by 10 PM, so they had, count it, ONE FUCKING HOUR. They (conveniently!) opened a PayPal so that attendees could start paying FOR THE CON THEY PAID TO GET INTO IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT THE FUCK. In the video of this online, there is only ONE PERSON who audibly yells "WHAT IF YOU ASK FOR MORE MONEY LATER?" One person. One. Fucking. Person. Everyone else is too busy with their head up their asses for a "cause" (the organizers had the gall, and genius, to make it seem like a fight and cause: they said the hotel "didn't like the attendees of the con." Nice one, you fucking scam artists). So, of course, when you have a bunch of fucking over-emotional teenagers who loooooooooove fucking the man over (who, in this case, to them, is the hotel owners who hate them and want them out, or so they think), the money was easily raised by 10 P.M.

But wait.

Before I continue, let me tell you some advice for life: you know something is a scam when they ask for more money AFTER you give them money. Let me give an example: if your cable company was like "you spent four-hundred dollars on cable this month" (which is a lot, holy shit, how much pay-per-view porn did you watch, bro? Get it free on the internet!) and then they said "Oh wait, we need $100 more," you'd be like "FUCK THIS SHIT GOING TO VERIZON." That is how you know something is a scam. If people are genuine in asking for money, and are ACTUALLY desperate, they'll figure out the EXACT DOLLAR AND CENT AMOUNT THEY NEED. So as not to lose trust. But when you're a scam artist who, in this case, is in front of a bunch of overly "fuck the man" teenagers and stunted-to-FUCK adults, you don't need to worry about trust. Because you've set up an enemy: the hotel, who "wants you out." (Which, by the way, is often cited to be false; but it's never been positively denied. This is just shady-ass behavior.).

That's right. You guessed it. They asked for more money. But not an extra $500. They wanted $3,000 MORE. TO RAISE IT TO $20,000. Because, apparently, this is what the hotel "demanded." Or else the con and all its attendees would get kicked out on their asses.

Oh, and also: the HOTEL CAME OUT AND SAID THAT THEY HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THEY OWED THE HOTEL AT ALL, AND BASICALLY IMPLIED IT WAS A SCAM.

Let me shed something on my personal life: when I read this, I picked up my phone and texted Zo: "*I summarize the last three or so paragraphs of this* So, at this point, I'm assuming that the organizers are just putting the twenty grand in those money bags you see in cartoons and hauling them into a truck while laughing their asses off."

It wasn't just me who felt that (though I said it quite wittily). EVERYONE WHO READS THIS WILL FEEL LIKE THEY WANT TO PUNCH THE ATTENDEES. AND I AM A PACIFIST.

Here's where the punching urge gets harder: they raised the money. THE ATTENDEES CHEERED, STARTED SOBBING, AND SANG "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS" WHILE THE ORGANIZERS SANG AND SOBBED ALONG. I'm not one to ignore or say "eh fuck 'em" to people who get cheated out of money. People can be fucking devious. But THIS? THIS MADE YOU CRY. AS AN ATTENDEE. TEARS OF HAPPINESS. TO PAY $20,000 MORE TO A CONVENTION THAT YOU ALREADY PAID FOR AND 98% OF YOU GOT HOTEL AND AIRFARE COSTS FOR. YOU'RE CRYING BECAUSE YOU PAID LIKE, TWO HUNDRED TIMES WHAT IT PROBABLY COST YOU TO GET THERE FOR A WEEKEND? MAYBE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TIMES, IF I'M FEELING GENEROUS? HOLY SHIT. YOU FUCKING DESERVE THIS.

Now, I'm not a fucking idiot, I know they all paid collectively. BUT STILL. HOLY FUCK. HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT IS OKAY AND BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

Some word of warning: these guys tried to make another convention, called EmotiCon (BECAUSE HAHAHAHAHA THE THINGS ON YOUR PHONE HOW RANDOM IT'S OVER 9OOO!). How do I know this? According to the web, and comparing both pages for the conventions, the con has some of the same TEXT, covers a lot of the same "topics," is AT THE SAME CONVENTION CENTER, and HAS ONE OF THE FUCKING PEOPLE WHO ORGANIZED DASHCON HOLY SHIT. After the internet collectively lost its shit over this and called them out on it, the organizers of DashCon/EmotiCon denied it, denied it again, said it was basically the same but had more advanced and experienced members, and then was shut down for "money, health, and safety reasons." So that was a thing.

But, you know, DashCon had an extra hour in the ball pit if you paid extra for "reserved seating." (Which people actually went in, by the way, and acted like fucking idiots in. And I'm quite childish.). So maybe it would be worth it.