Harry Styles Imagines | One Shots | H.S

59.Erasing my past, with you

'I can't do this anymore', you tell yourself. It's 2a.m. and Harry is in your bedroom while you sit on the couch of your living room, trying to figure out a way to get out of this situation.

You love Harry, you really do but the thing is that you've met him in a phase of your life where you don't even know what loving your own self feels like. Just before you and Harry started going out, you were in the most miserable situation of your life. A person, whom you thought you'd love the most and always dreamed of growing old together ever since highschool, suddenly dumped you on the basis of some stupid rumour he heard from one his best mates.

And the fact that hurts the most was that he didn't even cared to ask you wheather or not those rumours were true. You simply found yourself ghosted by him one fine day. It not only hurted emotionally and mentally, but physically as well. You were in a really terrible situation.
You had fever, nausea, you could hardly sleep at night. You felt so weak, it made you doubt whether or not you were even alive.
All you could do was think about it and the only thing you wanted to do was do the exact opposite of that.

But then, just in between those sleepless nights and the darkest of all days, you saw a small beam of light and hope.
Harry, a fine English man of 26 years old, one of the finest works of God came into your life. At first, you didn't even knew what was going on but everytime you looked at him, just the sense of satisfaction that 'everything is going to be alright' was felt by you.

The only issue was that, you met him in a phase of life where you were still healing. And loving someone at such a point of time looked almost impossible to you.
See, you adorned Harry, you really did. You could not even imagine what terrible situation you would have ended up in if he would've never entered your life. But the only thing was that your past still haunted your present.

Everytime you were with Harry, in between the conversations, the cuddles, the dinner dates and all the road trips, there were moments when the voice of that devil echoed in your ear. Everytime he guide you through a new dance step, or everytime he leaned in to kiss you at that every perfect spot just below your ears, the most cruel eyes of the devil flashed in front of your face, making you go numb again.

Harry would try to ask you everytime, "what's wrong?", But how the hell where you suppose to answer something you still didn't knew the answer of yourself? All you knew was that this wasn't right.
You felt like you are using too much of Harry's light. And that's not how love works.
Till date the only thing you've done was taking and taking and taking. His love, his light and all you had to offer in return were some broken, shattered pieces of your heart that was for sure the only thing you were left with. You wanted to offer him your whole world, you really do, but the only thing is that someone has just set it on fire.
You felt so trapped and untrapped at the same time and you didn't knew what to do.

"Hey, are you alright?", a voice spoke from behind....

*To be continued*

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The next part will be published tommorow.
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~AdoreuDirection