Daily journal of a Stupid ABM student

Shitty Highschooler

November 30, 2022

Were currently at the half of first semester, I already made friends and already established some sort of image, they see me as this "smart kid" just because I answered a fifth grader math questions, even though I think im the most retarded out of them. I have no sense of fashion,an inexorable person, entitled, and a great hypocrite. But yeah maybe that's what they show Infront of me or just a way to socialize with me, and Im pretty sure there was always these words on my back that I didn't know side comments and opinions about me, It can be good or bad either way whatever it is I can't put myself to care. What I care is how do I improve myself more for the sake of.....

GETTING A GIRLFRIEND.

Yes I don't have such High ambitions like to have these shitload of money, have a dozens of Lamborghini or Ferrari, or build a twenty-five mansions across the world. I don't have those high hopes. I do believe what's more important is Immaterial things, such as legacy and love and beauty and truth. I don't want to revolve around this stupid world that you will find success by achieving ridiculous amount of materialistic stuff that will literally rot away from time, I want more, I want to achieve something transcends, something that's fulfilling and not superficial. If I would choose to starve but still pursuing these things I found meaningful? Hell yes sir, I would just starve to death if it's for the sake of something larger than I there's no second thoughts.

What's the correlations and why Am I sharing my values? Because Im a ABM student, most of my peers has delude themselves, putting this ridiculously high expectations and hopes and pride on something uncertain and unstable. Maybe Im being pessimistic about this but giving your invaluable time and life for something valuable such as money and any materialistic things is I think doesn't add up. Yes I agree you can certainly pursue those things but I think that shouldn't be the end goal of anything, it should be higher, higher than you, not money or whatsoever.

The point being is I really want a girlfriend so badly, that's what I mean. Forget everything, forget my values everything what I said what I just want to point out is I want a girlfriend. That's it. But I think im still far away from getting a girl, who would want a cynical bastard who has the same personality of the taste of an old leather shoes. And to be honest I have someone I like she's really cute, my type, Im quite a conservative myself so I want a girl that's pure and gentle and yes luckily I saw her. Because of her I realized how far a shitty head I was, I was aware that Im an asshole but not this far. The problem is... Im not only in battle of myself but also a battle with another guys. Which makes the competition harder which is literally fucked up.

One thing is sure, I won't give up until I beat the fuck out of those guy and also I'll be sharing more stories in the future.