blue ➸ camren

one

Hot tears stung at her eyes and she squeezed her eyes shut. She was supposed to have a family. This was supposed to work. Everything was falling apart, once again.

The small girl shook her head, moving away from the mirror and leaning against the bathroom door. Her heart was beating rapidly as she was suddenly faced with the flashes of a memory she wished had never happened.

Bringing her hands up to her face, Camila willed herself not to cry. If she did, Lauren would hear her. If Lauren heard her, she would ask her what was wrong. And if Lauren asked her what was wrong, Camila would have to tell her.

Camila didn't want to tell her. She didn't want to tell Lauren about the bad things. Because then she would get in trouble. She didn't want to be hurt, and she didn't want to hurt anyone.

She struggled to understand why that memory had just appeared. It had been so... intense. Squeezing her eyes shut, Camila buried her head in her knees and began taking deep breaths, just as her therapist had taught her to do.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Camila jumped when she heard someone calling her name from downstairs. Lauren. She'd recognize that voice from anywhere.

"I am coming!" she called, standing up quickly and wiping her eyes on the sleeves of her hoodie. A small smile spread across her face when she realized Lauren was finally home from school.

"There you are," Lauren laughed softly when Camila appeared at the bottom of the stairs. She smiled at the sight of her girlfriend in one of her hoodies, but when Camila moved closer, she instantly knew something was wrong.

"Lolo," Camila smiled softly, quickly pulling Lauren into a hug. When the hug pulled away, Lauren studied the smaller girl up close.

"What's wrong?" Lauren asked, biting her lip. Camila panicked, looking down at the ground and shrugging softly. She couldn't tell Lauren the truth. The truth was bad.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Lauren guessed, noticing how distraught Camila appeared.

Thankful that Lauren had practically given her a way out, Camila nodded softly and looked up. Lying was bad, she knew. But she thought that the truth was even worse.

"Camz," Lauren sighed, tossing her backpack aside and pulling Camila into another hug. "You know the bad things aren't real. They're just dreams. Remember?"

Camila nodded softly. Another lie. Because the bad things were real. She had seen them so vividly, even more realistically than her dreams.

"Are you gonna be okay for the party?" Lauren asked, placing her hands on Camila's shoulders and looking the smaller girl in the eyes. Camila grew confused.

"Dinah and Normani's new year's party," Lauren explained.

"Parties are new," Camila bit her lip and thought about her words for a moment. "I have never had one."

"It'll be fun," Lauren smiled, even though she wasn't so sure. She knew her entire night would be chasing after Camila and making sure she didn't get herself into trouble.

When Dinah had informed her that the party would take place in their apartment, Lauren was hesitant. But the girls assured her that it would only be a small group of people. Things wouldn't get out of hand. Boy was she wrong.

A few hours later, people began casually strolling into the apartment. Dinah and Normani were passing around drinks, and Ally was deep in conversation with an attractive guy from Dinah's hip hop class.

"Be careful," Lauren jumped forwards, taking the soda bottle from Camila's hands. "You're going to spill it."

"I was not," Camila shook her head and pulled her cup away just as Lauren was about to pour her drink. "I want to do it," she said quietly, reaching to take the bottle away from Lauren.