Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Electricity

The room they were in was some kind of small ballroom, very fancy. "Whoa!" Charlie said, spinning around to take it all in.

"Yeah."

"How did Harry hire this entire place?"

"Oh, he's like, extremely rich."

"He should have gone on My Super Sweet 16."

Nick grinned. "So he could cry when his parents got him the wrong color Lamborghini."

"Exactly." Charlie laughed.

Still breathing heavily from the race up the stairs, Nick sat down with his back against the wall, and Charlie followed, sitting next to him.

Suddenly the air felt heavy. Whatever Nick had meant by inviting Charlie to come to the party with him, whatever he'd wanted to talk about when he suggested going somewhere quieter, now was going to be the time, but Nick was silent.

So Charlie spoke. He needed to know where things stood for Nick and Tara, if he had to give up this crush once and for all. "So ... was Harry being serious? Do you like Tara?"

"What? No. No, definitely not."

Well, that was a relief. But that left the next question: "So, you don't have a crush on anyone at the moment?" Charlie's breath was coming fast, and not from the run up the stairs.

Nick thought that over for a second. "Well ... I didn't say that."

"Oh." So it must be that other girl, Imogen, the one they'd talked about in the locker room. "What's she like, then?"

"You're just going to assume they're a she?"

Charlie's heart thudded against his ribcage. For a moment, he wasn't sure he'd heard right. "Are they—are they not a girl?" he stammered, shocked, staring at Nick. For all his hopes, all his fantasies, he'd never imagined it could really be possible.

Nick's eyes widened, as if he couldn't believe what he'd said, either. He looked away. "Um ..."

Probably he should leave it alone, Charlie thought. Probably he should let Nick decide what happened next. But he couldn't seem to stop himself. "Would you go out with someone who wasn't a girl?"

After some consideration, Nick said, "I don't know." Then, "Maybe."

Charlie couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was this possible? Was he dreaming? Slowly, he shifted one foot closer to Nick's. He moved his right hand, resting it on his knee first, then cautiously putting it down on the floor, close to Nick's hand but not touching it. He wanted to ask the next question, but with every question he asked the possibility of a "no" grew both greater and more devastating. Still ... he had to know. "Would you kiss someone who wasn't a girl?"

That one was harder for Nick to answer. At last he lifted his head and met Charlie's eyes. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, as if he was having as much trouble breathing as Charlie was. "I don't know."

Well, there was really only one question left, wasn't there? Charlie was terrified to ask it, knowing how much it would hurt if Nick said no ... but he had come too far not to ask.

He looked down at their hands on the floor, edging his over bit by bit until he could lift his pinkie and slide it along Nick's. He could feel the contact buzzing all through him. Nick was staring at their hands, too, and Charlie wondered if he could also feel the crackle of electricity where they touched.

Nick looked up at him, nervous, holding his breath. So Charlie asked the last question, the one they were both waiting for. "Would you kiss me?"

Looking back down at their hands, licking his lips, Nick shifted his hand so their pinkies were entwined. Charlie had never known it could feel like this just to touch someone's hand.

They looked up again, into each other's eyes. Nick took a deep breath, moistening his lips again, searching for words. He managed what looked like a nod, and then breathed out the answer Charlie had been waiting for, dreaming about, the one he still couldn't quite believe he'd heard. "Yeah."

Slowly they moved closer to one another, their eyes closing. And then it happened. He, Charlie Spring, was kissing Nick Nelson.

It was soft, and sweet, and over almost before Charlie could believe it was happening.

They looked each other in the eyes again, then turned away from one another, trying to decide what came next, but they left their hands connected on the floor between them.

After a moment in which Charlie tried, and failed, to get his breathing under control, Nick turned to him again. He felt Nick's fingers separate from his, and looked down at their hands in disappointment, only to see Nick slipping his whole hand into Charlie's. The brush of Nick's thumb along the back of Charlie's hand set his heart to pounding all over again.

As they moved towards each other, Charlie lifted his free hand and cupped Nick's neck, closing his eyes for the kiss. Nick grasped his shoulder, pulling him closer.

Charlie had been kissed before, but it had never been like this. He felt weightless, dizzy, like he was in danger of falling through space. Letting go of Nick's hand, he held onto the edge of his shirt to anchor himself here as the kissing went on and on as if it would never stop. He hoped it didn't.

Eventually, they broke apart to breathe, although as far as Charlie could tell, neither of them could quite remember how. They opened their eyes, faces still so close they could feel each other's breath on their skin. Nick was trembling, his eyes wide.

Charlie smiled, grasping Nick's shirt collar with his free hand since the room was still spinning around him. "You okay?"

"I ..."

Charlie had rarely seen Nick at a loss for words, but he seemed incapable of coming up with any right now. Which was all right. Charlie could wait.

But they weren't given that luxury. Before Nick could manage to say anything, they heard the unwelcome voice of Harry Greene. "Nick, are you up here? I just want to talk, mate."

Hastily, Nick scrambled to his feet, staring at the door in what looked like panic.

"Why are you hiding?" It sounded like Harry was getting closer.

Nick turned back to Charlie, standing there for a moment as if torn. Then he turned without another word and was gone, leaving Charlie truly alone.