Different kind of comfort

Chapter 21 - The girls are alright

"What happened? Why are you two breaking up? Is it because I got kidnapped?" she asked with tears in her eyes and a broken voice.

"No, no no no, sweetie. Don't you ever think it's your fault okay? If someone's to blame it's me" I said and I saw Castle was about to say otherwise but I gave him a look which shut him up.

I took a deep but wavy breath before I held out my arms. Alexis immediately crawled into them and we hugged. I kissed the top of her head before I whispered in her ear.

"I love you."

To my surprise she whispered it right back without hesitation. I raised and looked at Castle with tears falling down my cheeks.

"And I love you" I said before he bent down and kissed my lips.

His kiss made me feel whole again, like his lips was a part of mine, like his body was a part of me, like his soul was supposed to be a part of mine. But as soon as his lips left mine so did his body, his soul, and I felt empty inside. Like nothing could ever make me happy again.

"I love you too" he whispered as we kept our foreheads together.

I pecked his lips one last time before I quickly spun around and walked with fast steps towards my apartment. I heard Alexis call after me and my heart broke for the hundredth of time in only a few days. Hearing her call after me was much worse than I thought it would've been. But I kept on walking, never slowing down. In fact I even sped up after I had rounded a corner. I started running. It felt better. Even if I continued crying and felt my inside slowly die.

Rick Castle's POV

I had to stop Alexis from running after her. It pained me having to do that. And it pained me even more seeing the love of my life walk out of it. Alexis called out for her and I had to tell her to stop many times before she actually stopped. She had tears running down her cheeks and I couldn't help but let out my own tears. I picked her up in my arms and we hugged each other, seeking comfort in the fact that at least we two were together. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes before I wiped away her tears, she did the same with me and then I carried her the rest of the way to our loft. But once we got there it didn't feel like home anymore.

"Dad?" my daughter had a broken voice and I looked at her.

She gave me an exhausted look and I nodded.

"I know..." I said with a tired sigh, "you wanna sleep in my room tonight?" I asked and she nodded.

I walked with her still in my arms and we laid down in my bed, both starting to crying once again as we comforted each other enough to fall into the deep sleep we needed.

-

"Kate, what do you want to do?" I asked as I sat down in her chair.

She closed the door behind her and walked in front of her desk.

"Well, I would want you to move out of my chair so I can start doing my work" she said with an annoyed tone.

We had been dating for about a week and I couldn't stay away from her any longer. She had told me not to come to the school uninvited, actually not to come at all, because she didn't want her students to know about us. I had ignored her today, decided to surprise her and bring her out for some lunch. I knew she didn't really care if she ate or not as long as she got her job done so I wanted her to at least eat properly the few days I managed to sneak in there to take her out for lunch.

"Aren't you glad to see me here?" I asked with a hurt voice and she rounded her desk to come closer to me.

"I've told you not to come when I work" she said with narrowed eyes and I couldn't help but smile.

"So... you're not happy at all to see me here?" I asked as I laid my hand on her bum and pulled her closer to me, which resulted in her straddling me.

She narrowed her eyes even more and first she tried to raise again but I held her down by keeping my hands on her hips. I smirked at her and she rolled her eyes.

"You're such a teenager" she complained and I chuckled.

"But you love it" I said and she grunted.

I let my hand go inside her shirt and as soon as my hand touched her skin I could feel her unwillingly shiver.

"You-eh-you better get home" she stuttered and with that I knew I had her around my finger.

"Why? You don't want me here? Doing... this?" I asked as I cupped her breast and started massaging it.

She moaned and I chuckled at the control I knew my touch had over her body. The same control she had over mine. She couldn't keep herself away from me any longer and bent down to claim my lips with hers as she started to move against me. None of us had control anymore. And none of us cared about us being in her office either.

-

I woke up with an ice cold feeling in my body and when I remembered why, I kept thinking about the time we'd had together. Every little moment, every small touch that we had shared for the past month. When Alexis woke up her body shook when she started crying again. I hushed her and told her everything was going to be okay, that I would try to fix this.

"How?" she asked with a weak voice.

I didn't have to think long to figure out what I was going to say.

"I'm going to make sure she'll be able to come back if she wants to" I promised.

Kate Beckett's POV

I woke up screaming and sweating. The nightmares had started again. I had thought I had gotten rid of them for good, but meeting the man of my previous nightmares, and having to leave the people I love, brought them back. They were different though, I still woke up every hour from them but they weren't only about my parents being killed. Now they involved a certain little redhead and my writer as well. It was even worse, and that was what kept waking me up. At least my parents were already dead, there was literally nothing I could do to bring them back, but Rick? Alexis? They were still alive, and I had to keep telling myself they were okay. I had to stop myself from calling to make sure they were alive. I had pulled out my phone multiple times and kept my thumb above his name before I eventually managed to prevent myself from clicking on it. I was laying in my bed, crying. I tried to decide wether to call Lanie and tell her Castle and I had broken up or not, but I knew that if I did I had to lie and tell her Castle did something stupid or just plain broke up with me without any warning. And I didn't want him to be the one to blame, I didn't want Lanie to kick his ass because of something that wasn't his fault at all. I jumped at the sound of my alarm and I quickly turned it off. I wiped my face before I crawled out of bed and walked into my bathroom. As soon as I saw myself in the mirror I knew I couldn't go to work. I couldn't face my friends, couldn't face the kids, and I couldn't risk facing Alexis. So I did what I hadn't done even once since I started working at the age of 15, I called in sick. After that I decided to stay in bed all day. I only got up to get some ice cream from the fridge and to get the remote for the tv I had across my bed. I ate slowly, trying not to cry much more than I already had so that there could be a chance of not being all puffy eyes the day tomorrow. By the time of lunch I had gotten a bunch of messages from Lanie, asking me how I was and why I wasn't in school. She told me Kevin and Javi was starting to get worried as well. I didn't reply. I knew it would bring me trouble but I just didn't know what to answer. And I had no idea the three of them would show up at my door as soon as their workday had ended.