Suffocate

1

Between the juniper treetops reaching to the clouds and the umber dirt loose on the ground, Cassidy firmly planted her black work boots, staring at the birds like the cats did back at the barn. She crouched and sat on the dirt, hugging her knees the way she hugged her dolls–tight but not too firm–and rested her head, trying not to drift off to sleep. The familiar, soothing song of the scarlet cardinals sounded like an old lullaby and felt like an ache in her heart. The gentleness of the birds' chirping reminded her of her mother's voice, who was most likely looking for her back at the farm–at least Cassidy hoped. With that thought, Cassidy slowly pushed herself from the ground and wiped the dirt off of her dress, she stared at the birds for a while longer then decided she ought to go home.

"Stupid branches," Cassidy frustratedly muttered, harshly shoving them out of her face, "Get off of me!"

When Cassidy made it out of the forest, she squinted her eyes and furrowed her brows, trying to block out the harsh sunlight. She used one hand to shield her brown eyes and the other to lift her muddy dress as she rushed back to the farmhouse she could vaguely make out in the distance. The cows mooed, the chickens clucked, and the pigs squealed at her as if they were scolding her for her behavior. Before Cassidy could yell at them, the way she normally would, her mother abruptly grabbed her arm and began to upbraid her for her mawkish behavior.

"You are the most ungrateful, wretched child," She fumed, tightening her grip on Cassidy's arm, "May God bless the man you marry, for, I don't know how he will cope. You almost put me into a casket because of how horrified I was."

"Momma, please, I didn't mean to," Cassidy began to cry, "I just... Papa scared me when he got mad, I thought he would hurt me."

"Maybe he should and beat some sense into your mind! You do not run off into the woods alone like that," Her mother let go of her arm to rub her forehead, "How many times have we told you not to?"

There was an awkward moment of silence between the two women before Cassidy's mother loudly demanded an answer.

"I– I am not sure," Cassidy felt the snot drip from her nose as she wiped her face with her sleeves, "I am really sorry momma, I swear I am!"

"Good God, may the Lord have mercy on my poor nerves," Cassidy's mother sighed and pointed at her, "Go on inside and get changed, your papa needs more paint for that damned barn."

Without making a noise, Cassidy rushed toward their dilapidated farmhouse and gently shut the front door behind her. She walked to her room and tried to avoid the clutter on the ground; her mother would be infuriated if it were broken. Upon opening the door, she realized that she had tracked mud all over the floors. She took a deep breath and ignored the horrible feeling developing in her stomach. Cassidy's room was small and cluttered with knick-knacks, nothing important to her but nothing she could get rid of. She pushed them around and picked up a pleasant, floral dress she purchased in the market last year. After putting it on, she hurried back outside, not bothering to change from her work boots or to fix her hair.

"Come along now, if we hurry, we'll make it to the market before noon," Her mother began to walk without her, rushing herself down the dirt road.

"Slow down momma, I am coming," Cassidy shouted after her mother and picked up her pace, fearing she'd be left behind.

The path to the market was foolishly long but a simple walk, for, it only required patience to finish. The environment was nothing special in particular, merely a harsh, overgrown forest bordering the road. On rare occasion, Cassidy and her mother found an animal crossing or noticed a bush of flowers on the side. Such pleasantries were now scarce or, tragically, left unnoticed by the women. The market, however, was the pinnacle of the lovely, little town in the countryside, which few called home. It was a crowded area, where many travelled to sell, purchase, or steal numerous goods. When Cassidy was younger, she always accompanied her mother to the marketplace, even if she only brought mischief and havoc.

"Cassidy, I need you to find me a coat, I care not for the price, just buy what looks handsome," Cassidy's mother opened her coin purse and handed Cassidy an excessive amount, "Perhaps, if there is any left, you could buy something for yourself."

"Thank you momma, I promise to find you the prettiest thing here," Cassidy smiled and wandered off into the marketplace, squeezing past crowds of people.

Momentarily, her eyes fixated on a stall selling jewelry but not for the handsome jewels, rather, the handsome man off to the side, examining a ring. Cassidy felt her face get flustered when he noticed her in the crowd and she hurried off to find the clothing vendor.

"Stupid boy," Cassidy smiled.