Muffpunk: Dark Side of the Poon

ACT 1: Marinara Sauce

The moon hung stubbornly in the night sky. A penal dome city turned humanity's bastion against the Blight, was Blackwell. A city of sin, sinners, and sinnests.

The monogrammed sheets shimmered with the faintest light on this side of the moon. Spread across it was a woman of many names and faces. They called her Marinara, they called her Glory, and they even called her mommy. Yet to the select silvered few, she was Lily Ombra... and she was here for dick.

Booker Ward, a hard-boiled detective with a deep-fried attitude was returning home from his latest job. He strolled along the street with the lights of street lamps faintly illuminating his gloomy expression. The life of a freelancing hitman wasn't the life he wanted. Booker wished for grander dreams of becoming a lunar rock star with a sugar frost addiction. Hit the charts in his early 20's, disappear in his 30's, and return to the spotlight due to leaked footage of his violent sexual combat in the Electric Sheep Farm, before death by a heart attack after he fucked all 22 of the  Women's Mars' Battleball team Red Vipers and came on the goalie's face.

He would've looked upon them all and flashed a smirk. Booker thought of a clever one-liner he could zing at the Battleball team as his cum would eventually sputtered to blood.

"Heh, did you catch that?" Booker would say.

Before falling dead upon the Goalie and permanently traumatizing and altering her course in life while the other girls, amidst a wave of post-nut clarity, would wonder if what Booker was referring to was cum or his corpse.

One of the Battleball players noticed some red bumps forming.

"He might've been talking about STDs," said #21 Helena Klay, Forward Starter of the Red Vipers.

"Ouch," replied Booker as his head collided with the door to his apartment.

Snapping out of his daydream, Booker was reminded of why he hasn't run away from it all, why his healthy dream of the system's longest sexiest Battleball orgy suicide of the past decade wouldn't come to fruition.

Booker adjusted his nonexistent tie as he prepared to enter the apartment room... as he prepared to enter his wife.

"You're late," muttered Marinara-Glory-Mommy-Lily. 

"Sorry... I lost track of the time," replied Fake-Booker-But-Now-Real-God-Booker.

Marinara had begun to take off her sheep costume which this story had failed to mention previously. Although it was jarring that the image of Marinara wearing a sheep outfit suddenly appeared, it was fine because Booker loved surprises.

Booker activated his preloaded nanoskills Nanite Shell & Screwball Program as he prepared to give his wife the Lv 5 Deep Dive dicking of a lifetime. Soon his hands reached his belt where he fumble with his hands for a bit as he tried to remove his pants. Marinara had to help him and he cried a bit, but it was sexy tears that did not detract from the sexiness of this scene. Marinara hummed with pleasure as she wrapped her arms around Booker's 13.2" (33.528 cm) long / 11.2" (28.448 cm) circumference custom two-pronged coiled penis with retractable 5th gen goo-tech piping to deliver the optimal baby to batter ratio that any self-respecting woman would want.

Booker breached her passive firewalls with his datadick. Marinara's face flushed red as he took control of her hostpoint access point and violated her port with his trojan ware. 

"Ah... little baby Booker..." cooed Marinara.

To be clear, Booker was not a child despite being born only a few months ago. As a brainscan, he had the memories of a young adult man with the artificial body of a young man equipped with next-gen sexual armaments. It was only his brainscan itself, his very soul that was only a few months old. Therefore, Marinara was only a spirit pedophile, meaning it wasn't weird or illegal. She had a laminated card to prove it too.

Booker swung his hips with intent to send his Dirty Data through his Ghost Driver and give her that Supercell Ping. Marinara was seconds away from a Data Boom as Booker's Data Lance was setting off Marinara's  Foreign Object Detector. This confused her as he swore that his hardware was running Stalker Protocol, as she swore he had advantage on her V-Drive.

"Ah sheeeet...." cooed Booker.

"Oh, f-fuck..." whispered Marinara.

"Oh god," whimpered Paz who was hiding under their bed since the start.

Paz, who had been here since the start, was doing her best to hold her breathe and not inhale the sex fumes being exhausted by the two raging horny baboons currently going to pound town. Booker and Marinara-Glory-Mommy-Lily have entered the second half of the sinful sex sonata and have now introduced armaments into the mix.

The pair take a second to activate their armaments. Booker charges up his altium-cum-buster, while Marinara begins to plug herself into the two car batteries needed to charge her coitus-maximus sex-cave.

"Roll initiative!"

Marinara: Result: 1d20 (13) + 4 Total: 17

Booker: Result: 1d20 (20) + 7 Total: 27

Booker entered Marinara with the speed of the bullet that entered Marinara's skull in Paradise City. But instead of a bullet it was his penis and instead of Marinara's skull it was her vagina. This must be clarified because Paz had suffered two concussions from the bed shaking and Fortune was giving her the play-by-play so she could escape.  Because despite it all, Fortune was a Paz meat rider who'd start fights and do personal attacks on Re:Chan whenever any voiced their opinion of Paz being a bit mid.

Booker's crank shafted was hitting 8,000 RPMs as his shaft was getting cranked by Marinara. The bed bounced off of Paz's his head. Booker pushed forward leading his gravy train down to Marinara's caboose leaving it in shambles.

Booker and Marinara failed their DC CON saves and were now STUNNED for one round. Leaving Paz just enough time to scramble out of the bed and run out of the room. As she fumbled her way down stairs, she had forgotten about the stairs.

SFX: BOOM!

Paz landed hard onto the floor and had smashed into a cabinet, completely shattering all the plates onto her head. There laid Paz, unconscious via plates. Submissive and breedable.

Rosette arrives out of no where to take Paz home and make sure she's okay because this isn't that kinda story.

Rosette turns to the viewer:

"Remember kids, consent is badass," chimed Rosette.

TO BE CONTINUED: