Pain & Gain

Chapter 12

The words are acidic. They burn as I say them. A realization washes over me. That's my biggest fear. It's been my biggest fear from the beginning, that she would get tired of me and want someone else. That she would be able to leave me so easily, and that I would never get over her. She would leave me in ruins.
Rule doesn't speak right away. He comes over to the corner and sits next to me against the ropes.

"I don't know Marshall." He says. "With that one I just don't know."

***

~Rachel's P.O.V.~

Mom has been fidgeting for the last hour. She knows something's up and for the first time in excited to tell her. I've told her that there's big news and she's anxious to know. We sit on the couch and she is sitting up perfectly straight, tapping her fingertips on her legs.

"Is it Marshall?" She blurts. "Is he hurt? What is it?"

"No mom he's fine." I laugh to myself.

"What is it Rachel I can't wait." She leans in and puts her hand over mine.

"I don't know how to say it." My stomach fills with butterflies and my mouth goes dry, abandoning its obligations.

"It's okay, whatever it is it's okay." She smiles at me giving me one of those motherly smiles of encouragement.

"Mom I..." I'm at a loss for words. I want to tell her but this is harder than I thought. "I went to the doctor because I had been feeling nauseous, and I fainted-"

"You fainted?" Her voice fills with concern and her mothers intuition takes control. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"Mom I'm fine but that's not the point-"

"Were you alone? Where was Marshall?"

"Mom if you could just-"

"How could this happen?" She cuts me off again, the questions just flowing out of her. "Where were you?"

"Mom, I'm pregnant." I blurt, hoping she'll stop with the questioning.

She's speechless for a minute. Her facial expressions turn from shocked to confused to excited to shocked again and then right back to excitement.

"Honey I'm so happy!" She pulls me into a deep hug, rubbing my back. "A grandchild! Oh God I'm getting old. You're turning me into a grandma." She laughs, pulling out of the hug.

"You're happy?" I ask in confirmation, in all honesty I'd thought she would be mad or at least disappointed.

"I'm very happy." She nods. "Is Marshall excited? I bet he is."

"Well actually I haven't told him yet." I admit to her. "I only found out yesterday."

"Rachel honey you have to tell him soon." She says in all seriousness. "He probably thinks you're here to have a day off from him." She laughs again, unaware of her accuracy to his feelings.

"I want to, I really do. I just don't want him to be upset." I explain. "We're really young and we're not engaged. There's so many things we're supposed to do before a baby and I don't want him to get upset that we haven't done them."

"Sweetie", She starts and I prepare myself for one of those mom speeches, "whether or not he's upset that you haven't done those things, he has a right to know about this. It's his child too. The other things will come when it's time to have them, but right now you've been blessed with a child and that's what you need to focus on."

"I know." I sigh. "I just didn't think it would happen so fast." I tell her.

"We never do." She shakes her head. "And when it's time for the baby to be born you're going to feel like you blinked."

"Oh God..." I think about the physical process of having a child. It's so...painful.

"It won't feel that way for a while. You still have a few months before it all kicks in." She says, getting up from the couch. "Now I'm gonna go in the kitchen, and you're gonna call Marshall and tell him to come pick you up because you have something to tell him."

"Mom I-"

"Nope." She shakes her head and starts walking to the kitchen. "Call him."

I roll my eyes while her back is turned. Shes always pushing me to do the right thing. Now I am certain it's the right time to tell him. I fish around in my bag for my phone and pull it out. I have three texts from him all from about twenty minutes ago.

Marshall: Rachel I need to talk to you

Call me please I'm freaking out

Baby I need you

I dial his number immediately. It rings and rings and then eventually goes to voicemail. I try again and after five rings he picks up.

"Hello?" He answers, I can tell by his voice he's been crying.

"Are you okay?" I ask. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's nothing." He lies, and sniffles.

"Can you come pick me up?" I ask him, now feeling the need to be by his side. "I need to be with you."

"I thought you wanted to be with your mom tonight." He mumbles, breathing heavily.

"I did but not anymore." I explain to him. "I want to be with you."

"I've been crying..." He admits quietly.

"I know." I say back, still able to hear it in his voice.

"Over you." He adds. "I want to know what's wrong."

"Marshall come get me and I will tell you." I promise him. "You're going to be happy, just please come I will tell you everything."

"Do you promise?" He asks. "I care about you and if something's wrong I want to know."

"Nothing's wrong Marshall I promise." I explain. "Please come. Take me home."

"Okay." He sniffles. "I'm coming baby."

"Marshall I love you." I say sincerely.

"I love you too." His voice cracks and I hang up.

I'm going to tell him. I'm gonna tell him about the baby.