Windows on the World (OLD VERSION) [BEING REWRITTEN]

[¹⁴] ˢᵘᵖᵉʳᵐᵃⁿ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃ ᴷ

"Let me go first." Walter shifted on the drivers seat so he could look at her. "I'm sorry if it seemed I was trying to get into your head."

"S'okay, I think I get it now. It's just... I got the feeling that you thought I need fixing or otherwise you can't be around me." Phoebe maintained an inhibited speech. "Which sucks 'cause I like hanging around you."

"No, you're right. I realized that's what it must have looked like for you and I won't push you anymore." This made her lift her gaze up, encountering one of the most raw moments that Walter had allowed himself to display. He finally seemed just as vulnerable as she felt. "It was hypocritical of me to assume that someone else wouldn't be bothered by what bothers me."

"What bothers you?" She repeated, off-guard by the unusual transparency in his words.

"I'm not perfect—" He was not even allowed one second to elaborate on this statement before Phoebe jumped at the occasion.

"Ah, he admits it." She giggled.

He waited for her to stop while rolling his eyes. Phoebe sheepishly contained her laughter, allowing him to go on.

"And I don't wish to appear as though I pretend to be that way. But it's not that simple when everything feels like it's out of your control." Phoebe remained confused. "Let's just say I have a complex relationship with perfection. Whenever people pointed it out, I would get just as irritated and frustrated as you. Whenever my parents made me think I wouldn't move ahead until this problem was fixed, you know?" Walter watched her nod and it encouraged him to keep going. "If any of my siblings didn't align perfectly with what they had intended for them, they would say that there was an issue and try to find a solution for something that was probably mostly just in their heads. Not a real problem, and not something that needed fixing. But simply needed understanding."

She was at last able to see through him. A barrier had gone down. The silhouette of loneliness she had related to the first time she'd seen him morphed into a clear picture. A bright one, but with its specks of dark contrast, just like any other.

"I understand you." I do. I finally do.

That softly-spoken phrase arrived to his ears like a postcard from Heaven. He breathed in and out comfortably.

"Eventually I learned to find advantages to this quality that I once thought burdensome and a dead weight," he added. It got her thinking if it could be why Annie was referring to him as being neurotic. But so far, Phoebe hadn't been affected by any of that like the woman had warned. Walter's habits weren't exactly what she'd call bonkers. He was just tidy and free-standing. "And you, with your qualities... You can be anyone and anything you want, Phoebe. Nothing can hold you back."

She shook her head. It was hard for her to admit her doubts to the one who'd given her a college lifeline.

"I'm not so sure." Her fingers returned to the dangling threads. "I don't know what I want."

"That's fine, it's normal. You're still in the process."

Phoebe bent her knee, sitting sideways and mirroring Walter.

"But you always knew what you wanted to be—even if they made you go through another path."

It sounded as though she personally resented Walter's parents for holding him back.

"Doesn't mean I did not have doubts and change my goals and interests from time to time."

He sighed and opened the car door to let himself out. Phoebe did the same. A breach in the clouds brought yellow morning sunshine upon them. It bounced off the droplets of mist on the hood of the vehicle in countless sparkles.