The ultimate fanfic

Chapter 2

Nonce upon a time, in an ultimate universe where Markus Parkus is destroying the world with his massive shlong, Hannah Banana walks in zigzags and circumcises Markus Parkus with a butter knife that looks like a dildo. Mori divorces Markus Parkus over the circumcision, "It's too small" she says with tears in her mouth? flowing like a beautiful waterfall.

Hannah Banana writes an english literature essay (using the peel paragraphing system) about what it means to be a Hannah and a Banana in this prejudiced world (Side note, Hannah Bananas are their own species). Markus Parkus breaks down the door, sniffs everything and eats the essay with autismal powers. "What have you done?! Now Hannah Bananas will never have rights!!" Hannah Banana screams out in anguish.

Turkey Gobble Gobble starts singing "Barbie Girl" in the most shrill, elegant voice ever heard from a turkey (His nickname is Fagatron 3000 and he's in love with a robot called Harry Fagsome 3000).
Your Mum bursts into the room and starts to play Markus Parkus' wheel of fortune game. She lands on death and is executed by Markus Parkus' now pointed and sharpened tip.

Emily is sat in the shadows studying sociology and occasionally peeking at the chaotic mess of Markus Parkus' shlong show.

Dubz is a homophobic twat that is trying to get between Turkey Gobble Gobble and his love, Harry Fagsome. They are chased around with pitchforks and have their gay stabbed away while Dubz yells out slurs and calls them freaks. The gays die and go extinct, they were the last of the gay population.

Mori eats everyone's hair and makes them ginger. She brings in her Pretty Political Party of the Irish Posse (A.K.A. PPPIP). PPAP starts blasting out of their fingertips as they step on the welsh, making them go extinct. No more Welsh, No more Gays. And No more French...