TROUBLE - peaky blinders

51. what we stay alive for

Clara's fingers glided over the flower wallpaper as her feet dragged along the wooden floor towards the not-so-guest room that she had taken over during her London stay. The room was at a standstill. It was untouched from the last time she'd been inside it. The duvet was rustled and tucked into each side of the mattress half haphazardly, shoes lay strewn by the wall, and a very thin layer of dust gathered on the glass of her mirror. The girl felt her stomach knot as she entered the room and shut the door quietly. Her feet danced over the creaky floorboards, each step precise and clever, all a part of the pattern she'd crafted to create the least amount of noise.

Clara knew Tommy had seized her blue bottles in Small Heath, but given the state the room was in, she correctly assumed that her London room had gone untouched. She crouched beside her set of drawers, her fingers reaching beneath the wood. The tips of her fingers brushed against a wooden slat beneath and pulled out two blue bottles of snow. The bottles were taunting and luring her in as she withdrew her hands from beneath the drawers. She tilted her head as she examined both vials that shook precariously in her hands.

Without a second thought, she slipped both bottles deep into her pockets.

☆

CLARA WATCHED FROM HER WINDOW as Michael and Polly drove away from the London home. The girl allowed the curtain to fall back into place as she moved towards her door. She quietly crept down the hall as she heard Ada humming faintly in the drawing room. Clara found herself slowly descending the stairs, her coat pulled over her body as he hands clutched her gloves.

"Hey," Ada spoke up as she leaned against the drawing room's door frame. "I was wondering when you were going to magically appear!"

"I took a nap," Clara lied, although she was sure the bags beneath her hollow eyes were a dead giveaway.

"He called, y'know," Ada tentatively told her as she folded her arms over her chest almost protectively.

"Who did?"

Ada's eyebrows furrowed at the girl's monotonous tone. The woman scanned the girl's appearance, taking in both her coat and boots and the hollowness of her eyes.

"Tommy." She stated apprehensively, "He's worried about you." Clara tried and failed to hold back a scoff. Thomas Shelby worried about her? Unlikely.

"No, he's not worried about me. He's worried that he's losing control over me."

"Clara, maybe you don't want to talk about what happened and I can understand that—"

"Can you now?" Clara snapped back as Ada continued to talk. Clara's patience was growing thin and she suddenly felt rather confined to the walls of the home. What was it that Arthur had always said? Trap a wild animal and expect it to try to escape.

"—but you could've died, in fact, John and Finn did see you die!"

"I almost died? I would've never known...it's not as if everyone is so reluctant to let bygones be bygones! it was just one misjudged act. I am fine." She huffed, walking down the last two steps. "I'm going on a walk."

"What? Clara, you can't just run away! Talk to me, I'm your sister for crying out loud!" Ada exasperatedly called after the girl as she approached the door.