Backburner

I.

I was hell guarded for the rest of the world. I don't believe in love or in anything that makes you vulnerable. I hate big crowds. I hate people. I hate noises. For most of the time, I wished to be alone.

He for sure knew that, yet he stayed.

"Galit ka nanaman?"

I roled my eyes as he sat next to me.

"Malamang, nandito ka nanaman" I responded

He wasn't offended by it. And up until now, I wonder why.

"Sus, na-miss mo lang ako eh" he said smiling

I didn't answer. Totoo naman, but my pride would never let me admit that.

I was about to grab my tumbler to drink but found out it was empty. He then grabbed it first then walk to the nearest water dispenser inside the cafeteria.

He's so good at doing that. And I wonder if that's the exact thing that made me fell for him.

"Here" he said and handed me back my tumbler

"Thanks"

"Bilisan mo uminom, iinom din ako" aniya

I rolled my eyes. Please take back what I said. I keep on forgetting that he do things for himself, most of the time.

"Saan ka galing?" I asked

He immediately smirked at me.

"Sabi na na-miss mo ko"

"Tama ka na oy, nagtatanong lang" sagot ko

Paano ba naman kasi, nag leave for 2 weeks nang walang pasabi kung saan pumunta at kung bakit kailangan n'yang mawala.

"Secret, walang clue" he answered

"Psh, korni"'

"Wag na nga, ayokong nag aalala ka." sabi pa n'ya na nakapinta padin ang ngiti sa mga labi.

Minsan hindi ko na talaga maintidihan kung bakit gustong gusto n'yang inaasar ako.

"Whatever, I don't ca---"

"She came back" he said cutting me off

And I was too shocked to utter a word.

"What happened?" I asked, trying my best to keep my face straight.

"We talked about things"

And you took 2 weeks of talking? Interesting.

"You've finally made up?" I asked

He didn't answer. It was minutes of silence that I can barely stand anymore. And I always hated the fact that once again I am in the verge of crying, in front of him.

"Meet my eyes, Xeina" he said

I took a deep breath.

"Go ahead and story tell, tagal." I answered still not looking at him

"I'm not gonna say a word if you're not ready to hear it" aniya

This time, I look at him.

"What do you mean?"

His expression says it all. He knows we're both fucked up. And this is the exact reason why I hate love and vulnerability. I should've just let myself drown in my narcissistic principles and cage my self in damn high walls that no one can ever enter.

"I'm sorry, Xei, I'm an asshole. Sorry"

I laughed. Bitterly.

"You don't have to apologize, you're always been free to go." I answered