How To Become THE Douchebag

How do I start?

Before anything, you must first understand the possible ways to inflict grief upon another.

The first is to bully their instincts. It is, simply put, to make common-sense things appear normal, only for it to turn out completely horrid. A good example is using low-quality double-sided tape and scrape out its glue, before taking your father's wallet and smushing it between the notes.

But let's not get right to the meat of it. After all, the art of douchebaggery involves trolling anyone and everyone, even the readers as well - The ultimate form of douchebaggery spares none, not even that one asshole who writes the guide.

The second is to view it in categories - There are many ways to unleash one's skills as a douchebag as long as interaction between people are present. That means, as long as you are somehow talking, or doing something with, to, between, above, below, within, on, beneath, at, against someone else or several people, it is possible.

The only instance it doesn't work is when you're doing something without someone else; That's just a lonely, crazed lunatic maddened by his unpopularity. In the event that that's you, take no offense, but you need to get out of here. The fact that you're already alone means one of two things - Your social skills are too poor to make this guide any bit effective, or you are already a master of douchebaggery - A bona fide scumbag, so true to the core that others stay away from you subconsciously.

In any case, let us finally begin the art of being a douche.