Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Reaching

Nellie stretched out between them, her nose on Charlie's leg and her back feet on Nick's. "You know, she doesn't usually like my friends that much," Nick said. "'Course, usually they come over in a big group and they're very loud. You're not like that; you're much more gentle with her." His voice was soft, and when Charlie looked over at him, Nick's eyes were fixed on his face, wide and ... tender. That was the only word for it.

Charlie's heart thudded against his ribcage. That was not a friendly look. That was not a straight boy's look.

Nellie stirred suddenly and the moment passed, but Charlie couldn't stop thinking about it.

Wednesday it rained, so they spent the afternoon in Nick's room, scrolling through their phones, showing each other old pictures they'd saved, updating their Instas. It was so nice and so comfortable, just hanging out together, not even talking sometimes. Isaac was like that—they could just hang in his room reading books—but Charlie didn't know anyone else he could just relax with like this. Crush or no crush, Nick was rapidly becoming one of the best friends Charlie had ever had.

When it came time to leave, Nick walked him to the door. "Is it silly if I say I had a really good day? Like, we didn't even do anything."

"I know. But, same." Charlie smiled. They were standing really close to each other in the hall—it was an effort to reach for the door instead of reaching for Nick. He really wondered how much Nick would protest if he did. The way he was standing there, so close, made Charlie think Nick might be about to hug him.

Instead, Nick took a sudden step back. "So, movie on Sunday? You can pick this time."

"Yeah. Sounds good. 'Night, Nick."

"'Night, Charlie." Nick's voice was soft, and it sent a shiver down Charlie's spine.

Sunday's movie was the old Tim Burton Batman, which Nick had never seen. They sat closer together on the couch today, with Nellie tucked between them. All through the movie, they kept reaching to pet her at the same time, their hands brushing. Nick withdrew his hand quickly the first couple of times, but after that, their hands would touch for longer before he took his away.

Charlie was glad he'd seen the movie before, because otherwise he wouldn't have had the faintest idea what it was about.

When the credits rolled, Nellie got sleepily off the couch. Nick's mum took her out for her nightly walk, and Nick and Charlie stayed on the couch, facing each other. Almost, but not quite, close enough to touch.

"You know what we need to do next," Nick said.

Charlie knew what he would suggest, but he had no idea what Nick was about to say. "What?"

"The MCU."

"The what?"

"The Marvel Cinematic Universe."

"Oh." Charlie was disappointed at first—he had hoped for so much more—until it occurred to him what Nick was suggesting. "Aren't there like thirty movies?"

Nick smiled. "About that. Plus a couple of TV shows."

"That's a lot of movies." And a tremendous amount of time spent together watching them.

"Well, if you'd rather not ..." Nick sighed and started to sit up.

"No! No, it sounds ... good," Charlie said hastily. Only when Nick's brown eyes warmed and that adorable lopsided smile appeared did he realise that Nick had been teasing him. Or flirting with him? It was so hard to tell.

Neither of them moved. They stayed there, just looking at each other, smiling at each other, until the door banged closed behind Nick's mum when she came back with Nellie.

Both of them immediately jumped up and went to pet Nellie.

Nick walked Charlie to the door. "See you in form tomorrow."

"Yeah." Charlie hesitated. He wanted ... so many things. But what if he tried something and he'd been reading Nick's signals all wrong?

"Charlie." Nick's voice halted him halfway through the door, and he stopped to look back. Nick had his hands in his pockets, and he was frowning a little bit. At last he said, "I had a really good week. Um ... thanks. For hanging out so much."

A smile spread across Charlie's face. "Me, too. I'll ... I'll see you soon."

"Yeah."

And then Charlie left. Walking home, he kept thinking of the way Nick had looked at him, the brush of their hands as they reached for the dog. Could it be? Did Nick have a crush on him, too?

Much as Charlie tried to tell himself it wasn't possible, he couldn't quite seem to make himself believe it.