I'm in the middle of class and I felt a panic attack coming on. Why, I'm not sure. I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary. Maybe its just because I'm around so many people, but then again, I'm at school, I'm always around people so I don't know what exactly it could be.
I grabbed my bag and shoved everything on my desk into it; I was trying hard to get outside of the classroom before I started to freak out. I didn't wait for permission; I just ran out of the room. I was determined to make it to the bathroom.
I didn't make it.
I started wheezing and I stopped and clutched my chest as I tried hard to breath. I leaned up against the lockers trying to calm down.
I couldn't.
I was gasping and I felt light headed.
I couldn't breath.
Finally after a while my breathing slowed down and I could actually breathe again. I'm pretty sure my face was black and blue and my hair looked a tragic mess. I swallowed hard, feeling the dryness of my throat and headed over to the water fountain. I gulped down as much water as I could and tried to contain my composure.
I slowly walked back to class, hoping that if I walked slowly enough the bell would ring and I wouldn't have to face the stares if a thousand eyes. Those stares usually led to another panic attack.
As I reached the classroom door, the bell didn't ring and I was forced to go back into the classroom. I took a deep breath before twisting the doorknob and trying to act and look confident.
My confidence quickly faded when I realized that everyone was staring at me. I sat at my desk and kept my head down as I heard faint whispers all around me.
"Star, why did you leave my classroom without permission?" The teacher asked sounding annoyed.
"I-i-i had to go to the bathroom." I said stumbling nervously over my words.
"Next time, you need to ask." The teacher said turning on her heels and going back to the board.
All I wanted was to go home where I didn't have so many attacks and not so many people paid attention to me
I didn't have a social problem or anything. I was a friend to everyone. My attacks only happened if there were too many people staring at me, or if I was stressed out. It just so happend that at school that tended to be all the time.
Finally the bell rang and i was the first one out of my seat. Only two more classes I whispered to myself as I hugged my bag to my chest and made My way through the crowd of people.
