Into The Shadow Realm | Rascal x fem reader story 2023

18| Panic and Realisation

Rascal knows that whatever it was that happened to (y/n) during the meeting, wasn't about the meeting. The jester knows that this couldn't have been the case since the Magic Bearer didn't show any signs of distress after reading her invitation, only the morning after.

Seeing as though (y/n) is a creature that requires sleep, and remembering overhearing her and Brooha made him come to the realisation. Even with all this information, Rascal of course knows there is something else she may not be letting on, not to Brooha, and definitely not to the joker.

Rascal decides he isn't going to say anything. Usually he would, but seeing (y/n) in such a state tonight, has swayed him slightly to the opposite. If she found out that the jester knew anything, he knows he would immediately be her next target to throw knives at.

Even though he would block them with ease.

What is this~? Rascal wonders. If this was Ulric or Brute we were talking about, Rascal wouldn't have given spilling a second thought. The jester has always been in opposition with (y/n) the minute she arrived. All the banter, the teasing and the mutual dislike for each other.

Something stirs inside Rascal, something changes. What is it that she's doing to him to make him...feel?

Before Rascal realises, (y/n) turns towards him and finds the joker staring while lost in thought. Then she tries to smile, but it doesn't work, it doesn't look natural. When Rascal freezes, unable to comprehend her finding his fixed gaze or show any reaction whatsoever, the two creatures continue staring at each other.

Rascal can tell that (y/n) isn't upset anymore. So why is she staring at him like that?

And why am I staring back? The jester questions, but deep down are where the contained answers stay violently forced.

No.

Everything inside Rascal tells him to revoke this strange feeling.

But at the same time, he doesn't want to turn away.

-Your POV-

Rascal sits beside you silently. He has not mocked you, or teased you. In fact, the jester has hardly said a word in a good while.

Strange.

You glance to the side to find him with his eyes already on you.

Then,

Your heart.

It begins pounding again. But this time, it is different.

When Rascal switches his gaze directly into your eyes, your stomach erupts into butterflies. Unsure whether you are smiling or not, your stomach swoops and you become lost in this unexplainable feeling. Of course you cannot see the joker's true eyes behind the mask, however you know they are on you.

Still gazing, you trail your eyes to his hair, all different colours complementing each other, the yellow, red and blue each pulled up into its corresponding buffoon. The purple bangs now hang usually around the sides of his mask and face. You remember that when you were little, you always assumed it was all a hat, thinking the purple at the front was real and so was the supposed 'hidden' hair under the hat. For years you believed, and learning later that it is all truly his hair astounded you.

Then there is his mask, pure white and pointed at the nose. The way his legs are positioned against the sand, the boots, his long sleeved arms slightly crossed, accentuating the tone in the muscle and his cold slender fingers with black nails – it all makes you stare in....in...

In what?

You trail back up to his gaze, still on you. The joker's expression has softened completely. Another spark, this time without touch, you feel it electrify your veins, the same veins that once bore excruciating pain now surge the complete opposite. Your mind takes you back to Rascal's circus, where this happened before, how you felt when he took your wrist. The exact sensations, the exact energy, opposite again to negative energy that you require to survive, it enters your body and makes space.

Painless tingly flames erupt around your body.

You continue staring.

Rascal continues staring.

When another spark of electricity strikes your stomach, you suddenly get it. Suddenly it clicks. And whether you like it or not, it is a fact.

Oh how you wish you had not made a deal with Nogo.

Your heart is racing because of him.

-----

Hello, hope you all are enjoying! Somehow have just gotten a load of motivation.

If you were wondering, I decided to make this fanfic originally for myself, since I do have an anxiety/panic disorder, I wanted to display that by putting it into words and adding it to the oc. Most of my stories I've written include this too.

So that's why there's some mentions of anxiety :) If you are going through something similar, always feel free to reach out if you need, I'll be happy to chat.

I've just had a look and WHAT I have 25 engaged readers and 639 views!????!!?!?! That's amazing thank you all so much.