Matilda | Harry Styles

FIFTEEN

'I've been struggling a lot with what I want lately', "I've been torturing myself, trying to do the right thing.'

What was the right thing? What did he want?

Maybe I was reading it all wrong - perhaps there was a perfectly innocent explanation for why Harry's face had fallen dangerously close to my own, and I'd practically been able to feel his breath fanning over my lips. There could've been a completely reasonable explanation for how he'd almost entirely closed the space between us, causing me to press back against the door. I had it all wrong.

By the time I'd finally stopped pacing around, packing and repacking, it was late morning. I sat on my bed, nervously chewing on my nail, spiralling some more. I could feel a wave of tiredness beginning to hit me - after all, I'd been awake for over twenty-four hours now, and had spent those hours rather preoccupied. I had a few hours before I needed to meet with the others to head to the airport, and I figured I definitely wasn't going to get any work done.

Just as I went to lie down on the bed, and attempt to get a few hours of rest, a melodic knock sounded upon my door. I bolted upright, my heart beginning to race. Could it be Harry?

I wasn't sure if I hoped it was him, or if I hoped that it was anybody else, but I quickly stood up and headed to the door. I tugged it open, to face the same spot I'd stood in last night, inches from Harry, only to find Elin and Pauli filling that very space.

Elin's face lit up when I opened the door, her elbow quickly digging into Pauli's side. "See - I knew she'd be here. You owe me ten dollars."

I frowned, as Pauli huffed at her, before turning to me with a bright smile. "Good morning, sunshine."

I narrowed my eyes, "What's up?" I asked, suspiciously, my eyes falling to a tray of coffee cups in Elin's hands. I then noticed Pauli holding a box of his own.

"Can we come in, or what?" Elin asked, raising her eyebrows, and I stepped aside to hold the door open for the pair of them. They entered the room and I followed them, taking a seat on the bed. Pauli appeared to peer around for a second, as did Elin.

"I told you he wouldn't have been here," Elin said to Pauli, planting herself in the chair nearest to me. I squinted, as Pauli merely shrugged in defeat. Elin leant over, handing me one of the cups she held, "Here."

I took the cup, removing the lid - it was a black coffee; something I hadn't realised how much I'd been craving until it was in front of me. I went to thank them, before I caught the pair of them exchanging glances. "Okay, spit it out."

Pauli's eyes widened, "Pfft, what?"

"No idea what you're talking about," Elin shrugged, glancing from side to side and taking a sip of her own drink, before handing the third cup to Pauli. 

"Just say it, whatever it is," I took a sip of my drink, exhaling deeply at the taste of the caffeine I'd been needing. This was quickly becoming a pattern I'd noticed, where the group seemed to have a common idea about something, but wouldn't disclose it to me. But Elin's reference to the fact 'he wouldn't have been here', as if searching for traces of him in my room, paired with Elin's often knowing looks, and their quick closing of the elevator last night, were starting to give me a pretty good idea of what they were trying to reference.

"What time did you get back here?" Elin asked, innocently. Pauli opened the box he held, finally, revealing an array of doughnuts the pair of them had clearly picked up this morning. He held out the box to me, gesturing for me to take one. When I didn't take one straight away, he shook the box, and so I obliged, taking a doughnut.

"I'm not sure, why?" I shrugged, taking a sip of my drink, watching the pair of them exchange glances again. I rolled my eyes, "What?"

"Well-" Pauli said, through a mouthful of a doughnut, before he held his finger up, gesturing for us to wait for him to chew. Elin rolled her eyes, deciding to speak for him.