Ikigai

Chapter 30: My Violet + My Blue

And as her head began to ache, she gripped the paintbrush she was holding just a little bit tighter feeling as if she was losing a bit of herself in the current reality.

"Itachi," she whispered as she accidentally lay her hand on his shoulder to steady herself, his eyes slowly finding hers for the first time in a while.

He didn't speak, but she knew she had his attention now, and just like that, her headache seemed to lessen.

"The color?" Kintsugi asked again hoping to disguise her earlier mistake as she sensed him turn her way. "Are you okay?" She dared to ask again seeing as he still hadn't answered.

His eyes looked at the hand she rested against him, and gently, his fingers reached out to touch her hand, bringing her in front of him as he pulled her closer to his body and to the dog that still lay on his stomach. 

"Violet," he whispered taking the paintbrush from her with his other hand as he brushed it against the top of her own in one slow stroke.

"Oh...okay," she blinked, confused as she turned around and walked back inside.

It wasn't too long after when Kintsugi came back to where he still sat, cookbook once again on his lap and a tired Yami by his feet.

"And this one?"

"Blue," he monotoned as he watched her walk back into the house with a different tube of acrylic paint.

He wasn't reading anymore, she knew this because she hadn't heard a single page turn for the past 30 minutes she had been attempting to paint.

But he was the perfect illusion to anyone that would happen to glance his way, the black shirt he normally wore had an abundance of dog hair from where Yami had lain, and though he was out in the open, anybody that would have happened to stop by would immediately see a brown-haired man wearing a black shirt with round-rimmed glasses.

Her fingers trembled as she held the paintbrush sensing his eyes temporarily looking at her in observation. 

"Is there something on your mind?" Kintsugi muttered as she brushed a bit more on the canvas in front of her.

 "No," he spoke wearily, his head resting against his hand as he shifted his body.

"...you once told me...that if you want to know who you are, you have to look at your real self and acknowledge what you see," she paused as she tilted her head, "I don't know how you feel exactly Itachi, but whatever's going on communicating is..."

"Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That Sasuke's gone, Kintsugi."

"...I do...," she paused, "I did."

"You didn't tell me."

"Would me telling you about what he did change anything? Are you going to go after him?"

She hadn't meant it in a bad way, but she was curious because this was the most he had spoken to her in a while. Even if it was over something like this, at least he was talking to her.

"Whatever I may or may not have done...that would have been up to me if you had just-"

"I found out yesterday Itachi. Even then I thought it had been a rumor, but up until a few hours ago, Kakashi had confirmed it because I wanted to make sure," she spoke as she sensed him shift in his chair again in what seemed to be discomfort, " So I'm sorry if I wasn't the first one to tell you the news like Kisame. I figured it would be better if someone you actually talked to could deliver the news."

Itachi blinked because here he was having an argument with someone he wasn't supposed to care about at all. Whoever was right and whoever was wrong shouldn't matter to him. But he felt something ache within him as she sighed in frustration because of him.

"What are you doing?" She muttered as she sensed him get up and walk towards her,  his face leaning closer to her own.

"Are you mad?"

"No."

"You are."

"I said I'm not, what...what are you doing."

"You're bothered by something." Itachi whispered as he held her face between his hands glancing up and down her features, " and I don't think it has to do with what we were just talking about."

"What? I was the one asking you-"

But she didn't get to finish because Kisame's words echoed in his mind.

Kintsugi couldn't see but Itachi was staring at her lips as one hand reached out to gently hold the paintbrush she was still holding.

He now understood what that meant, a little bit of what the meaning of life was. He now understood that Kisame was right. 

He was fond of her.

Very fond.

[Kintsugi's painting]

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11/10/2022 (A/N): I know. I know. It's a short chapter. Guess I'm in that character development arc in my life or something because I've been struggling and dealing with a very high amount of stress and anxiety this past month that I have never experienced before in my life. 

Writing anything was difficult and today was the first day where writing actually felt like it was helping to alleviate just the tiniest bit of that stress. With that said...I'm sorry...cliffhanger?