𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍 //𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝑲𝒊𝒅𝒔 𝑭𝑭//

~𝟮𝟮~

"What? My arms still hurt, and I can't reach you otherwise."

He seemed to get it. He moved closer again. As I gently took his face and started checking the damage, I could smell the faint scent of alcohol on his breath. I pulled away and looked at him.

"So how did this happen?"

"It's nothing serious, I just-"

"You got into a bar fight, didn't you?"

He hesitated.

"Yes. But I didn't start it. I only had one drink. I needed to clear my mind. Then this guy came at me. He punched me. I tried to stop him or get away, but he broke a bottle over my head."

My eyes went wide at his last words. I started searching his hair, looking for a mark or wound. He winced when I touched a particular spot and my fingers felt wet when I pulled them away. My fingertips were stained red. I washed my hands before grabbing the disinfectant. I took a cotton ball and gently dabbed the disinfectant onto the wounds on his face. He had a nice-sized cut along his right cheekbone, and he winced when I touched it with the cotton ball. I pulled my hand away, but he opened his eyes and looked at me.

"I'm okay. This is nothing compared to being shot. I'm fine."

He looked down again, and I brought my hands back to his face. My left fore- and middle fingers rested underneath his chin, tilting his head up slightly. My right hand occupied itself with cleaning the wound again. When I finished, I stuck a butterfly bandage on the cut. As I was gently patting it down, my fingertips brushed against Lee Know's long eyelashes, making him look at me. My gaze lingered on his for a moment before I dropped my eyes back onto the job my fingers were doing. I could feel his gaze on me as I moved on to the wound on his head. I gently parted the hair around the wound. Then I took a clean piece of cotton and wet it slightly under the tap. I gently patted it on the wound, trying to get the dried blood off. When most of the blood was gone, I moved slightly closer to the edge of the counter, trying to see if there was any glass in the wound. I felt my knees press up against Lee Know's abdomen and tensed up. I moved back again, afraid I made him uncomfortable. However, he didn't seem bothered by it at all, bowing his head in front of me. He was probably worried I couldn't see. It actually helped. A piece of green glinted in the wound. I took the tweezers out of the first aid kit and gently took hold of the little shard of glass. I must have taken hold of a strand of hair when I pulled it out, because he hissed and grabbed the countertop next to my sides, effectively caging me in. I swallowed hard.

"S-sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm okay. You just yanked a hair out, but I'm fine."

I felt bad but went back to my job. I checked for any more glass. When I couldn't find any, I grabbed another piece of cotton and used it to disinfect the wound. He winced and sucked in a breath through his teeth. I felt bad for him. He would definitely feel the bruise in the morning. When I finished, I contemplated putting in stitches, but I didn't have a stitch kit. A Band-Aid will have to do, I thought. I took a Band-Aid out of the kit and took the little scissors, cutting the Band-Aid smaller. I gently laid it out over the wound, being careful to get as little hair stuck underneath it as possible. I tried my best to be gentle as I smoothed it out. When I was done, I gently laid my fingers out on it before moving to pull away when Lee Know took my hand. He looked up at me.

"Thank you. For doing this."

I nodded, slipping my hand out of his to pack away the things I used. I moved a tube of salve to put the rest of the stuff in the kit, placing it between my thighs. It must have been open when I put it between my thighs, because when I tried to put it back in the box, a little glob of the stuff was on my left thigh. Lee Know noticed. He placed a hand on my thigh and moved his thumb to scoop up the salve, but I grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand off my leg quite harshly. My skin burned where he had just touched it. He looked into my eyes, my hand still firmly clenched around his wrist. He must have seen the fear in my gaze because he immediately stepped away from me, apologising. I breathed out a shaky breath as I hung my head and closed my eyes. Don't come back, please, just stay buried, I pleaded with my demons. He would never hurt me.

Yes, he would, my demons screamed back at me. He's no different. He's just like him. He's going to use you and then he'll leave you to suffer, just like he did. Why would he be any different-

"Hey, you okay?" I heard Lee Know ask, making me open my eyes.

My breathing was laboured, and my knuckles were white from gripping the countertop too hard. He took a step closer to me, but I stretched my hand out, stopping him. My other hand rested on my chest, trying to get my heartbeat to slow down. You're okay, you're safe, calm down, I told myself. I got my breathing to slow down slightly, leaning my head back and looking at the roof with tears in my eyes. I pushed my demons down. I finally got it right.

"That's it. Just breath," Lee Know said, making me look at him. He looked so worried, it almost made me cry. He was actually worried.

"I'm... I'm so sorry. I don't know... It just..."

"It's okay. You don't have to apologise. I should be apologising."

"But you didn't know. This wasn't your fault."

"But I should have. I should have known."

He turned away from me, leaning his arms on the kitchen island. I could see the veins pop up on his forearms. I rubbed the salve off my thigh and gently got down off the counter, making my legs stop shaking. I slowly moved to his side, placing my hand on his shoulder blade. He looked over at me.

"This was in no way your fault. It would have happened eventually. If I'm being honest, I was kind of waiting for it to happen. I wanted to see how I would react. But I obviously overreacted. As usual."

I dropped my hand, but he caught it as he turned to me. Even though his form towered over mine, he looked at me with such tenderness, I didn't feel scared at all.

"This is not overreacting. This is your justified reaction to the scars that your trauma has left you with. If you ever feel like you're overreacting or if how your acting is uncalled for, please banish that thought. You are so strong. You are just being human. Please don't ever think you aren't strong, or you deserved the trauma you went through. Please."

I felt a tear slip down my cheek at his words. I nodded softly, swiping the tear away. He gently took the hand that just swiped the tear away and spoke again.

"And no more of this. No more wiping your tears away. If you need to cry, I'll gladly offer up my shoulder. Don't hold it in. It's not healthy."

I nodded again, feeling another tear slip over my skin. This time I let it fall, and the one that followed it. And the one after that one. My cheeks started getting wet with my tears. I slipped my hands out of Lee Know's, instead wrapping them around his waist, resting my forehead against his collarbone. At first, I could feel his arms stiff at his sides, but then he loosened up, wrapping them around my shoulders. He held me close as I cried. He held me until I stopped crying, my breathing returning to normal. Only then did he pull away. He gently brushed away the remaining tears on my cheeks.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed. You must be exhausted."