numb for so long

CHAPTER 1.

English is not my first language so if you see any grammary wrong things please tell me!! sorry again!!

"I wish I never met you.."

We always lived in a small town of Illinois, in a small house.
My parents were not able to afford a bigger house than the one we had. Two really small bedrooms where to sleep, a small bathroom, kitchen and living room. The bedrooms were alright and me and my older brother, Joshua, were able to deal with the small space, until my younger brother was born.
They decided to name him Julian and I'm pretty sure I knew the reason why he was born. Me and Joshua were 8 and 10 when he was born, which was pretty much the last point i needed to figure it out.
My father had always been a truckdriver and he spent most of the time away from home. I don't have any memories with him, every time he was home was because he had to sleep. When he slept, we were not allowed to make any loud noises that could have woke him up. Giving birth to another kid, was the only way to live again the moments of a new born, spending time with him and spoiling.
Everyone loves babies right? Well I did not. The only kind of babies I always liked was the silent and sleepy ones,  that are a love to  spend time with. Julian? He was not like this at all and I'll tell you why. For some reason my parents decided to not raise him the same way we were. No violence, no lectures and no reproaches, becoming so one of the most spoiled kids I've ever seen.
My parents never usually picked us up from school, the only times they did were rare cases. The rare case I remember and I will never forget was in elementary school. One day at 12pm, my father arrived to school with the intention of picking us up. I was in the line to exit the building and I saw Joshua running over to him and as my father took his bag, they walked off. I was waiting for my turn but I kept staring at them, just walking off..
I was 8 and I walked home by myself, asking myself why they left me there. As I arrived home, I saw all of them sitting at the table situated in the kitchen and eating lunch all together. I just walked by, reminding them of my existence and as they saw me, they started laughing.
They just thought that the fact of him forgetting about me was funny.
Joshua was dads favorite and Julian was moms favorite, I was the middle child.

Everything that happened in the house was my fault. I got yelled at for everything, everything and everything. Even the most basic things, such as spilling water on the table by accident. Everytime I did any of these, I would feel so guilty, not blaming my parents for getting so mad but now? When I think of it, I get so mad, for how badly I got treated.
But hey, the story is not gonna be about this, let's get straight to the point.

First day of my second year of high school, hating it. I was known as "Joshuas sister" no one knew my name, Joshua was the popular one, the guy every girl wanted. Well? I can't fall for my own brother, I was just there.
The only friend I really trusted was Anisa, we' ve been friends since the first day of middle school and we never left eachother. She was one of the most wanted girls in school, short, asian, no body hair, long and shiny black hair. The girl every boy wanted.

picture of Joshua (from pinterest)

picture of Anisa (from pinterest)

(I won't add a picture of y/n so you can image whatever)

Me and Anisa had no classes together so we spent most of the time together during lunch.
A day after the teacher gave our tests back, as I was sitting down to my table.

"The results of this tests were horrible, only 2 of you reached an A. I'm truly disappointed" - The teacher said, as he was speaking to the entire class.

I nodded along, knowing that I was one of the 2, just wondering who the other person was.

"Though, congrats to Nate for getting an A+" - teacher.

My jaw dropped, as soon as I heard the letter N coming out of his mouth. I spent the entire week, studying for this test and my title was just took away from me.
I decided to turn and eye the guy that started itching the back of his head with his right hand, laughing.

"Y/n also did a great job and got an A, but for the rest of you.." - teacher -

I stopped listening to what the teacher was saying and I started focusing on Nate. He was the betrayer, backstabber and cheater, I was 100% sure he cheated on the test.
I kept staring at him scrutinizing every single detail but I got caught off guard when he turned, eyeing me. His green mesmerizing eyes were looking straight to mine, then looking me up and down and smirking.

I was so annoyed by the way he acter and just decided to turn back right and listen to the teacher. I was waiting for the bell to ring and just meet up with Anisa. I then decided to grab my phone.

-opens snapchat-
-enters the chat with Anisa-

'I just wanna cry, let's meet up behind the main building during lunch'

I had just sent the message when a voice from the back of the classroom said.

"Sir, y/n is using her phone" - voice

The teacher walked up to me and said
"Please y/n go to the office"

I quickly stood up and eyed the back of the classroom, to then realise it was Nate. He had an annoying smirk right on his face as he kept staring at me. The rest of the classmates were too focused into their failed test.

All I was thinking about was him publicly declaring war to me, as I walked to the Office.
This was when I realised I had to work 10 times harder, to beat my newest rival.

To be continued...

pic of Nate btw (from pinterest)