twisted wonderland one-shots (requests CLOSED! for now)

rook x gn!reader

"You look just as stunning today as you do every day!" crows Rook in an attempt to praise you, but you're really not feeling it. You nod, going along with it silently as he continues his shoddy attempts at flattery, which only serve to make you want to curl into yourself and die, especially since everyone else has stopped to watch the disaster happening in the middle of the cafeteria.

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a flash of lavender hair and your hopes of escaping skyrocket. You wave at Epel from where you stand, watching as Grim and Epel start to wave back but freeze at the sight of their senior hovering over your shoulder.

Epel decides to take the first step and marches over to you with Grim in tow, letting you hook your arm around his. "Prefect! Perfect timing! I need help with, um...um..."

Your hopes crumble like a Nature Valley granola bar. Of course  this was the moment when Epel's mind decided to lag horrendously.

Grim, who's grown exasperated of waiting, slams into your side with the delicacy of a semi-truck.

You yelp as you fall over, nearly breaking your hip upon contact with the cold floor. You groan in pain, rubbing your side and glaring at Grim.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"Oh no! The prefect is hurt!" exclaims Epel in an over-exaggerated mimic of concern, grabbing you none-too-gently by your arms and hauling you back up. "We need to get them to the infirmary!"

Immediately, Rook swoops in to help, reaching out for you. "I am more than capable of assisting the prefect in—"

"Fuck, let's just go!" hisses Epel, dragging you away before Rook can say anything else. He's surprisingly fast, even though he's lugging you behind him like a sack of potatoes, and he makes it all the way to one of the empty classrooms before you've even gotten your breath back.

"Thanks for getting me outta there, but next time could you come up with a better plan? Something that doesn't involve me getting hurt?" you growl, giving Grim and Epel a nasty look.

Grim shrinks back in shame, looking away. "S-sorry..."

You sigh, rubbing your aching hip again. "But I guess you did get me away from Rook, so I'm not too mad about that."

"I think we gotta think this through," says Epel, crossing his arms. "No one's fuckin' listening to us, and none of the staff care enough to intervene, so it's up to us to keep Rook away from you."

"Well, unless you decide to hide me twenty-four-seven, I dunno how we can get to that," you say, leaning on a desk and stretching your arms. 

"Well..." Epel starts, scratching the back of his neck, "...we can certainly try, can't we?"

You raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "And how d'ya suggest we do that, genius?" you say, still kind of pressed about how he fumbled his attempt to getting you out of that situation without causing you some kind of harm.