What If

Forrest Questions

Once we're at the cabin, I unlock the door. We walked in, and I could hear the shower. "Shhh. Be quiet. Alex will be pissed if he finds out that I showed you," I whisper. He nods his head.

We slowly walk into the cabin so he can see all the empty bottles in the living room. From the bathroom, we hear him drunkenly singing, The same song he's been repeating for six months. Each time I listen to it gets sadder and sadder. "Wow," Gregory whispers. I shushed him, and we continued walking to the bedroom and slowly opened the closet door. "He did all this. He drank all this alcohol and kicked all these holes."

"No, he punched some of the higher ones," I try to sound funny, but I know it's not. "Come on, let's get out of here before he gets out of the shower," I say quietly, walk back to my car and start driving back into town.

"My brother is turning into our alcoholic father. No wonder you want answers" He sounds defeated, as if he thinks this is his fault.

"If it helps, I don't think he's an alcoholic. He doesn't drink throughout the week. As soon as he gets home from Friday to Saturday night, sobers up all Sunday, then works all week and starts all over again on Friday. But now, will you please tell me what you know?"

"Okay, I don't know much. But I know that when Alex was 17, he met this guy. And no, I won't tell you his name. I know our dad caught them in the shed behind our house together one day. He Was yelling at them, and he walked up to Alex. I could and shoved him against a wall by his throat," He promised. For a moment, I looked over, and it looked like he was about to cry. "The guy he was with ran over, shoved our dad, and yelled at him to get off him. Our dad turned him around and broke his hand and wrist with a hammer. I was in the backyard, and I could hear him yelling and them screaming. And instead of helping them, I ran away. I went to a friend's house, and when they asked what was up, I told them I was bored and had nothing better to do. And that's pretty much the extent of what I know. But I think they may have dated till the end of the summer before he left for the Air Force."

We are about a 5 to 10-minute drive away from town so I pull over because if he gets out of my car crying, there'll be many questions. "It's not your fault. What your dad did wasn't your fault. You were a child. You were scared that if you stopped him, he'd do it to you too" I try to calm him down because it isn't his fault.

"Forrest, why are you doing this? You have to know that this isn't going to turn out well for you two! So why!"

He has a point. It's not. "Because I can't watch him sit around and wallow. I like him a lot, and he loves the boy from high school, so I want to help him. And I can't help if I don't know anything."

He sighs. "Well, as I said, I don't know much. But l that's why you invited the girls to Planet 7, isn't it" I smile. "Well, we better get going, or you're going to be late."

____________________________________________________________

"Hey, Forrest!" Maria exclaims as we get out of the car. "Oh, Gregory, hi. Are you coming to Planet 7 too?"

"Hey, Maria... no, I'm not. I just had something to do with Forrest," he answers. "Can I talk to you two?" They both say yes and walk away. I can barely hear them. "Listen, if he asks any question, just answer them."

"What would he ask us?" Liz questioned.

"It's not important. Just answer the question. Ok, now go have fun." Gregory shoos the girls back over.

"Let's go, drinks are on me!" I say as we walk to Planet 7. Time to get them drunk so I can get my answers.

After three alien-themed cocktails and four tequila shots each, they were finally drunk enough to tell about Alex's high school guy. "Can I ask you two ask something about Alex?"

"You can ask anything," Liz giggles.

"Yyyaaaaaaaa, you got a buunnncchhh of drinks. We're an open book right now," Maria drunkenly says.

Ok, I can do this. Just ask. I take a deep breath and say, "Tell me about Alex's song guy" They both look confused, so I continue. "The one from high school, the one he wrote the song for."

They look at each other as if they are having a conversation but with no words, just occasional sounds. And then "ok," at the same time.

"Don't tell Forrest. It will break his heart to know his boyfriend is in love with Michael Guerin." Maria starts.

"Michael Guerin?" Wow, ok. I knew it was someone in town, but I wasn't expecting Alien Guy.

"Ya, we were surprised too. Alex told me about a year ago. After he found out, Michael and I slept together."

"What you and Michael dated. So you dated your best friend's ex, who he's still in love with?" this is so confusing.

"Alex told me too. I didn't know how in love they were, and when I did, I broke it off!" Maria sounded defensive.

"Ok, back to Michael and Alex," Liz takes the conversion back on track. "So, in senior year, they started getting closer. And for the first time, he was so happy."

Then Maria took over. "Alex once said, "I'd stay in Roswell if only he would keep kissing me." But things got worse after his dad broke Michael's hand. And Michael changed, so Alex ran away to the airforce. He was gone for a decade." she paused "Now that I think about it, Michael was trying to get over him the entire time. Of course, he didn't, but still."

"And after Alex came back?" I have to ask.

"They tried to move on but kept getting pulled back together." Liz answers, "Cosmic. It's what they say. That they love is cosmic. And I believe that."

Maria continued, "Ya, same. Halfway through the song, Michael left. I think it killed Alex."

"Why? And what part?"

Liz started, "Izzy told Max and me something about it, "not being the right time," blah blah blah, and then she's like, "but it will be" all confidently, of course.

He said, "I hope so," but I don't know when he left."

"Oh, oh, me, I do, I do. Michael left right before the part hands... or skin... his dad... I don't know. I remember Alex looking for him, and he was gone." Maria drunkenly finishes.

I mentally know what part that is. "I still find my father's shrapnel buried beneath my skin, but I've begun to heal in all the places your hands have been."

"Yay, that one."

And now I have answers. Just what am I going to do with it? "Let's get you two home."