mercy ; peter ballard

36. m i s e r y b u s i n e s s

"fine," peter gives in, moving in close. "he started it though."

"real mature, peter. putting the blame on a teenager," bea says, rolling her eyes. he interrupts her with a kiss. she playfully shoves him away. "peter, i need to go to the children."

"fine," he smiles, pulling her close again. "one more?" he leans down placing a kiss to her lips. "alright, go do your job," he rolls his eyes, playfully. "i love you, bea."

bea puts her hand on the door knob. "i love you, too, peter," she grins before opening the door.

september 8, 1986

bea picked at food on the tray next to her. she sat back against the glass. steve and robin sat close to the cell. mike, lucas, and dustin sat in the shadowed areas with the remote to the speaker.

'cowards.' she mentally rolled her eyes.

the only thing keeping her going was the baby and the thought of going home. it was stupid, but in the moment, she wanted lemon cake. instead she was eating canned soup with stale bread on the floor of her childhood nightmare.

"why did you do it? were you really a spy all along?" robin asked. her back rested against the glass cell. bea leaned on the opposite side of the pane of glass.

"we were doing so well and then you left."

bea sighed, putting the stale bread on the tray. "i didn't have a choice. you know that. i gave up so much to help you guys, but it was all for nothing. i wanted to help and everyone accused me of being a spy. i decided it wasn't worth it. i feel like i earned it. the right to be selfish. after everything i've done, i feel like i can justify this."

"i'm sorry," robin spoke, pulling her knees into her chest. they sat in a short silence. steve just sat, listening to the two. "so...you're pregnant?"

bea smiles a bit, letting out a short laugh. "yeah. i think they're a boy."

"how do you know?" robin asked, curiously.

"mother's intuition, i think," bea replied, placing a hand over her stomach. she wasn't showing yet, but she could sense it. "i don't know his name yet, but i want his middle name to be alan."

"alan?" steve looked, resting his head on the glass behind him.

"my father's name. he was in the military before i was born. he was a great father. he spoiled the hell out me. my father used to read to me in the living room while my mother sewed. the adventures of tom sawyer. he died protecting me from this place."

the room feels cold. sad. she could sense pity. she didn't want pity anymore, she just wanted to go home. her feet hurt, her throat felt scratchy from screaming, her eyes burned from crying. the stress wasn't good for her or for the baby.

"you know there is still time for you to choose the right side, bea?" robin's voice rasps.

"unfortunately, picking the 'right' side isn't an option. there is no true right or wrong side. it's just all perspective. i know where i stand. i have been on both sides and i know what your side fights for and what his side fights for. your side will always believe you're in the right, just as we do. the difference between us is we know and accept our flaws. use them. the problem with the good guys is how flawless they believe they are, they suppress them. isolate them. i'm on the side of breaking this vicious cycle of abuse," bea states, making it clear where she stood. it took her a long time, but it felt like a weight being lifted from her chest. bea threw the bread from her tray at the pane of glass across from her. "my children will have a safe place to live this way."

peter safely set will onto the overworld ground. he wipes his nose as eddie attempts to climb out.

"the bag is in her closet," will relays.

"i'll go get it. um...help your brother out," peter says, looking down at a struggling eddie. he runs out the rubble of eddie's former trailer.

he tries the door, but it was locked. he looked around him, making sure no one was around. he carefully used his powers to unlock the door and enters slowly. the coast was clear. he looked around her home. he had never truly taken in the details of her home. she had many photos of her aunt and herself.

'indiana, 1982,' one photo read. it was a picture of bea and lila under an array of buildings. she had a bright, but tired smile.

he felt bad for ripping her away from her normal life.

'would she be happier if i had never come back? did i destroy her life after she finally had it back?' he wanted what was best for her. but was he really what was best?

he shook it off, heading into the hall. he looked into the first room. nothing. the second door lead to the bathroom. then the final door lead to a bedroom. he opened the closet door and in all its glory sat the duffle bag.

"thank fuck," he sighed in relief. peter had no idea what the bag contained, but he knew it was important. everything bea did had a purpose. he slung the bag over his shoulder and headed outside to meet the boys.

"got it?" will asked.

peter replied with a nod. "here, kiddo."

will takes the bag from peter and sets it on the ground to open it. eddie stands behind him with his arms crossed, waiting for the contents to be exposed.

will rummages through the bag. his hand meets metal and he pulls out a gun.

"she probably bought this after the gates opened," will murmured. he pulls out a book. it looked important so he stuck it back in the bag. he feels around for anything else. he finds a couple pictures, another book, a pocket knife, some protective clothing, and a pack of skittles. "this should do." will holds up the bag of skittles. "this is definitely a bea bag."

"we need to get a move on before we lose daylight," eddie says, a bat landing on his shoulder. eddie throught it was insane that a couple months ago, one of these bastards killed him before.

"i agree," peter said. "before we try to find them, let me remind you both, one of you is technically missing and the other one is dead so please disguise yourself."

"yes, sir," eddie said, fake saltuing.

"got it," will answered, nodding.

"let's go find her, boys."