Rangers Apprentice Oneshots

Incorrect quotes

Halt: Will...
Will: Oh, no, 'Will' in B flat
Will: You're disappointed

Will: You're right
Halt: That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Will: I am an expert at identifying birds.
Halt: *raising his eyebrow* What are those ones over there?
Will: Yeah, they're all birds

Halt: Any idiot would know that.
Will:I knew that
Halt: See?

Will: This is such a bad idea
Gilan: Then why are you coming?
Will: One of us has to keep us out of jail when something inevitably goes wrong.

Halt: I prevented a murder today.
Pauline: How so?
Halt: Self control.

Gilan: Change is inedible.
Will: You mean inevitable?
Gilan, spitting out coins: No, I didn't.

Will: Can you keep a secret?
Halt: Do you know anything about my life?
Will: No, I don't. Good point.

Crowley, going over Gilan's résumé: Okay, so it says you're creative.
Gilan: yes.
Crowley: what do you create.
Gilan: problems.

Halt, at the beginning of Will's apprenticeship: Any suggestions you have go into the suggestions box.
Will: but that's a trash can!
Halt: exactly.

Baron Arald: What's your biggest weakness?
Halt: I can be uncooperative.
Baron Arald: Can you give me an example?
Halt: no

Will: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.
Alyss: Oh, you've been?
Will: Once. In Monopoly.

Halt: Look, I may not be a saint but it's not like I'm an arsonist or anything. It's not like I've ever found a wallet in Jenny's restaurant,taken all the cash out of it, and put it back exactly how I found it before.
Horace: Are you sure, cause that was oddly specific.

Crowley: Violence isn't the answer.
Halt: You're right.
Crowley: *sighs in relief *
Halt: It's the question. And the answer is yes!
Crowley:No!

Halt: Can you be serious for 5 minutes please?
Gilan: My record is 4, but I think I can do it.

Halt, talking to himself: I get it, you've had a really hard time lately. You're stressed out, seven people died-
Will: twelve actually
Halt: Look, they're dead now and who's fault is that really?
Will: Yours!
Halt: That's right, no one's.

Will: .. . - - - / ... - - - .-. .-. -.  - - (Translation: I'm sorry)
Halt: What is that?
Will: Remorse code.
Halt: ...I'm even angrier now

Will: I think I'm having a midlife crisis
Halt: Will, you're 15
Will: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!!

Halt: Am I going too far?
Will: No.
Will: you went too far like 8 hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Gilan: Bad things keep happening to me. It's like I have bad luck or something.
Halt: you don't have bad luck. Bad things keep happening to you cause you're an idiot.

Will: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Halt: You need to stop.

Halt: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Will, instantly: Killed without hesitation.
Halt, horrified: WILL! NO!!

Crowley: How many kids do you have?
Halt: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

Halt: Crowley and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Crowley: sentences
Halt: don't interrupt me.

Alyss: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.
Will: I wake up at 4:30AM
Alyss: I want to see you every day for the rest of our lives.

Gilan: WELCOME, fellow idiots.
Will: Hello Gilan.
Gilan: No, not you. You're not an idiot.
Will: you underestimate me

Horace: *accidentally hits Will in the face*
Horace: * trying to decide between saying 'Are you ok' and 'I'm freaking sorry'*
Horace: ARE YOU FREAKING SORRY?!
Will: What's wrong with you?!

Will: How do I deal with my enemies?
Halt: Kill them
Will: That's a bit extreme. I was hoping for something more passive.
Halt: Kill them only a little?

Will: is the opposite of the opposite the same or opposite?
Gilan: Are donuts just female bagels?
Horace: If the sky is the limit where is space?
Halt: Do any of you think before you speak?

Halt: You often use humor to deflect trauma.
Will: Thank you.
Halt: I didn't say that was a good thing.
Will: what I'm hearing is you think I'm funny.

Will: Just so you know, it's very muggy outside.
Halt: Will, I swear, if I go outside and all out mugs are out there...
Will: sips coffee from a bowl.