"slowly, now. what exactly is the problem?"
"she doesn't want to see me anymore," ushijima almost whined, though it sounded strange because of his deep voice. "she said that she'd change classes and quit the team just to get away from me."
"well, will she?"
"i don't know. i guess i'll find out if i see her tomorrow."
ms. ushijima sighed. "come and lay down for a moment." ushijima followed the direction easily, leaning over to lay his head on her lap, something he hadn't done since he was a child. he forgot how much it comforted him, and he breathed easier once his eyes fell shut.
"how much do you really love her, 'toshi?"
ushijima hesitated finding a way to put it into words. instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. he pulled out the folded blue index card and handed it to his mother, watching the way her hands moved to make sure that she was gentle with it.
"what's this?"
"i was lost in class once, so she gave me that note to tell me. i think that was the first time that i ever felt my feelings happening. i could feel my heart beat and hands sweat."
ms. ushijima smiled down fondly at her son and handed the card back to him.
"she's important to you."
"very."
"what will you do? now that she's ignoring you? where are the romantic final gestures to change her mind?"
"i didn't think she'd like that."
his mother sighed once more and gently set her hand on her son's forehead, easily calming him.
"you know, when your father and i first met... i was a summer girl, myself."
when ushijima looked at her incredulously, she nodded to assure him.
"i'm sure that what i went through wasn't nearly as horrible as what this young woman experiences now, but i remember the few times that your father had to step in and defend me."
"is that why you fell in love with him?"
the woman chuckled. "no, not at all. in fact, i hated him even more because he thought i needed protection. but i couldn't tell him that, right? what kind of a person would i have to be to do that?"
"not a very good one," ushijima replied, though the question was rhetorical.
"that's what i thought. over time, we started to keep secrets from each other. i wouldn't tell him where i was going, and he stopped talking to me altogether. when you were born, it got better. not good enough, though." ms. ushijima solemnly looked away for a moment, but the moment didn't last long enough for the ace to notice. "all i'm trying to tell you is that the secrets that you hide are the ones that tend to hurt you both the most."
"i didn't know i was a secretive person..."
"having secrets doesn't necessarily make you secretive. what you do with said secrets is how you tell the difference."
"did you ever tell father your secrets?"
"no, i never had the courage to. but you do, wakatoshi."
"i don't think i do," he shook his head. "otherwise it wouldn't have taken me so long to tell her how i felt."
"if you really think i'm going to let you talk yourself down, you are severely mistaken."
"i'm not trying to talk myself down, but it's the truth."
