The Replacement

Part Sixteen

"I'm good..." she responds, stroking Dog's fur in attempt to an avoid eye contact.

Negan lets out a tense breath, "you know, I can't tell if it's just one of those things or the craziness of us all moving to the abandoned Tower, or if you're just avoiding me..."

"I'm avoiding you..." Lydia replies.

Shutting his eyes, Negan nods in responds, "well, shit... that's honest."

Lydia's gaze finally shoots to him, "you want me to lie?" she looks at him void of emotion. "Make you feel better..."

"No. I don't..." Negan shakes his head in responds.

"Ok..." Lydia suddenly changes the topic . "You can give someone else the Rat Stew..."

"It's not rat..." Negan stammers staring at it, "it's possum..." Recalling that you had referred to it as the same thing, he sighs out in defeat, "I mean, it's basically a big rat. But, I... uh... I just wanted to say that, I liked her..."

Lydia looked up at Negan then as he continued on. "Your Mom, she did some horrible shit, there's no excusing any of it. But I liked... I liked a lot of things about her and I wish to God that I didn't have to do what I did, but if there is something you want to say to me; then you should say it..."

Lydia stares him blankly in the face then, "most of us wish you had died too."

You watched a shattered looking Negan stare silently at the wall in front of him as Lydia leaves the room, walking pass you without saying a single word. "What do you mean; you liked her?" you step in front of him, brows furrowed.

"I... uh..." Negan stutters, staring down at the bowl then.

"Mary told me that you and Alpha were close when you were a part of their group" you remark looking at him with suspicion, "Negan, exactly how close were the two of you?"

"Mary...?" Negan looks up at you in confusion.

"Gamma..." you respond, pressing him yet again "how close exactly, Negan?"

"Oh, her..." he replies with a nervous nod.

"Answer my question, Negan..." you stare at him with narrowed gaze. "Did something happen between Alpha and you?"

"We... uh..." Negan nervously stammers, fidgeting with the bowl in his hands.

"You what, Negan?!" you look at him wide-eyed as your mind began racing at the thought of where this conversation might be heading.

"W-We... we kissed..." Negan finally sighs out in defeat.

"What...?" your voice croaked out in hurt surprise.

Negan looks up at you, guilt written all over his face. "I had to get her to like me... in order to get close enough to her. We kissed..."

Staring at him with a blank look, you nod. "Was that all?"

Negan silently watches your reactions for a few seconds. "That was all... nothing else happened."

"Ok" you respond with a nod; your mind still trying to wrap around all the information. Not knowing what else to say, you take a step around him to leave.

"You ok?" Negan grabs holds of your arm to stop you.

"Yeah..." you respond looking to the ground to avoid eye contact. "I'm going to see if Gabriel has heard any news from Aaron."

Realizing that you weren't really being truthful, Negan reluctantly releases your arm with a heavy sigh and watched as you silently walked away without even having once looked back at his direction.