Wonderment (BL)

Chapter Ten

A car door slammed somewhere outside, and I jumped. I sat up quickly and looked around.

"Relax," Silas soothed, rubbing my arm gently. "Violet and Josh wont be back for ages. It must be just a neighbour."

"We should go," I told him, and jumped up to my feet. Thankfully, Silas didn't protest.

We quickly packed away all of the bedding stuff, and double checked to lock the front door behind us as we left.

Silas and I were gonna walk the short distance to his house, where he would ask his dad to borrow his car to drive me back to school to get my car from the school parking lot.

We walked the few streets over in silence. It was brisk this morning, and overcast, though it didn't look like it was going to rain, yet, which I was grateful for. I hugged my hoodie tighter around me against the slight breeze that was like ice.

"You can stay a while if you want. We can hang out," Silas invited as we were entering his garage through the side door. We both hurried in, grateful for the shelter. He dropped his bag just inside, not bothering to turn the lights on, the only illumination we had was from the open door behind us to the outside.

"I wish I could, but I can't. We should hurry," I told him, shaking myself in the doorway to try and get warm.

"Why?" he frowned at me.

"I told Joel I'd meet him at twelve."

Silas was silent a moment, staring at me. For a moment I thought I saw something sinister flash across his face. "You're really going to him? After everything?" he accused. I blinked, surprised by his sudden animosity.

"Everything?" I frowned. His tone made me feel like I was being attacked, so out of the blue, so out of character for him. It was very jarring for me.

"Everything we've done? Us?" he snorted. "Or did it really mean nothing to you?"

I was completely baffled right now. We had been fine a few seconds ago. "What? Of course not. Where is this coming from?"

Silas seemed to blow up. "We're supposed to be friends, Ryan. But you're just using me to get off before going to date someone else. How is that supposed to make me feel?" He was angry now. I was so confused.

"We do this sort of thing all the time. You said so yourself, we cuddle Josh and Violet all the time. We're affectionate friends. Isn't this just us showing each other affection?" I asked. Because, wasn't it? It wasn't like Silas cared, right? He did this sort of thing all the time. He slept around, he had a reputation for it. We were just fooling around... It was supposed to be harmless fun...

"Friends don't jerk each other off. Friends don't make out all night. We're not friends anymore, Ryan. We haven't been friends for a while now." His words stung me, which only made me want to lash out and hurt him right back. I didn't understand this, wasn't he saying how much he cared about me just the other day? He promised he'd always be there for me, and now he was saying we weren't even friends anymore?

"You screw around with everyone. I didn't think you'd care who you did it with. I'm just another notch in your bedpost." The look on Silas' face let me know I'd crossed the line.

"Get out," he spoke with fierce calmness. I felt sick to the stomach by his tone.

"Sy?" I tried, but he took a step forward and shoved me in the chest.

"Get. Out."

I stumbled towards the door. I glanced back once, and wished I hadn't. The look on his face right then will haunt me forever.