as vlad was walking out of CVS with his new 17 inch dragon dildo and a squishmallow, this big black ass van pulled up and a man fell out of the back of it with a bunch of shit.
"do u need help" vlad asked, his hand on his hip, walking all sexy like.
"ya I'm a magician. wanna see a magic trick?" the man asked, fumbling around with his stuff.
"yes" vlad said before climbing into the back of his van
---
when he woke up he was on a amtress and in a dark concrete room.
"this is so bougie!!!!" he said, tiptoeing around and flapping his hands.
"boy the fuck you mean?" a voice said from the door. "this is the hood. this ain't bougie. i brought u eggs fag."
"yass! i loooove eggs!" vlad grabbed the plate and (like the flamboyant gay man he was,) strutted over to his matress.
"ok I'm going upstairs. BE A GOOD BOY OR ELSE..." he said "oh yeah my name is albert shaw. social security number is 74773789, my moms maiden name is kale, my first pets name was tootsie, I go shopping about 4 times a month, and I own an ikea rocking chair."
---
after vlad ate his scrummilicious eggs he heard some annoying ahh phone ringing. "helloaaahhh!?" he said.
"ur getting out of here!!!!!!!"
"I don't wanna! he's kinda sexyyahhh!!!!" vlad started twirling his hair. the phone hung up all by itsself.
TO BE CONTINUED
