𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 ／ 𝑗𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑜𝑘

III

i felt the adrenaline rush through my body as I ran, the flashing lights making the back of my eyes go crazy.

I was pushed , and shoved until I reached outside.

Yes it was shitty to leave effy, but my social battery was gone anyways.

I turned my key , and I sped off, I didn't really know where I was, so I had to drive somewhere till I did know.

i got a few cars who honked at me , but I just laughed in response.

I always tried to find humor in the bad stuff, that's why most of my college didn't like me.

as I drove through the city lights, I saw my dads house. I immediately knew where I was, and turned a left even though I was in the wrong lane.

about 4 cars beeped at me, I just snorted.

i then parked up my bike outside my home, and unlocked the door.

I was greeted with my mum and baby brother in the living room.

" have a good time love? " she asks.

I hummed, before going upstairs to my room.
I took off my shoes and top, and headed towards my dressing table.

It had a few photos of me and my ex, and mostly they were me and effy or me and JJ.

I knew JJ had a hard time, now a wave of guilt washed over me. I made him locked on.

I grabbed my phone and typed out a message to him,
y/nnn
hey JJ, I'm super sorry
for getting you locked on,
it was never my intention,
how about I make it up to you
tomorrow??

i then sent it, cupping my face in my hands.

I felt myself nearly break down.

Bottling it up for so long probably isnt very good.
I only had a few people to worry about and that's it.

I knew effy was probably going to the ward soon.
JJ always was worried and no one talked to him about how he felt, and what he enjoyed so I encouraged him to talk to me.

Maybe cook could become someone I cared for. He doesn't seem like a loving person from the outside but I bet he is. I hope?

I opened my dresser draw and pulled out my vape.

I took a long-winded puff and exhaled.

I felt stones hit my window;
I had only hoped it wasn't effy.

I saw a very worried JJ stood outside my house, I gave him a quizzical look, and he pointed towards the door, I ran downstairs and unlocked the door.

" I - uh yeah thanks. " he said nervously looking at me up and down.

he then looks at my passed out mum,
" you sure she won't mind, ? " he asks,
" JJ, we've known eachover since we were kids, it's not like I'm going to go upstairs and get pregnant is it? " I say sarcastically.

He shook his head no, and I grabbed his arm and lead him upstairs to my room.

He walked in,
" hey, that's me and you in that photo. " he mentions, like every other time he comes to my house.
I giggle, and smile at him.
" yes, indeed it is. " I smile.
He sits next to me on my bed.

" so, you and cook... " he says, trying to start a conversation going.

" me and cook.... " I continue.
" well, you basically nearly made out with him so I want answers, do you like him? " he asks.

" if eff doesn't, then totally yeah I do. "

" why does her opinion matter? " he says.

" because we have rules JJ, I mean if she lets me go out with him then yeah I guess I will. " I said.

" right. girl rules? " he asks, I nod.
"- yeah girl rules. " I say.

" well when freddie and cook liked effy, freddie liked her and then effy had sex with cook out of spite, and then everything went downhill from that point. " he explains.
" so effy and cook have fucked? "

" -made love. " he interrupted me
" ok, so effy and cook have.. made love? "

" yes. they indeed have. I've seen effy with no top on once. She wasn't happy. " he says, I laugh at his random remark.

" I have no hope with him JJ, what do you think I should do. " I ask him quizzically.

He rubs my back,
" whatever you feel like doing y/n. " he says calmly.

i smile at him;
" right well it's pretty late JJ, I may sleep now. " I suggest.

" can I sleep in yo- "
" yes , JJ you can sleep next to me. " I say to him, he nods a bit nervously.
I grab sweatpants, and change into them, leaving me with a bra on.

I get under the covers, as does JJ.

" night loser " I say,
" goodnight. "

i feel my eyes become heavy, and I drift of into a sleep.