Love Me Not Plant

phases of u

2:AM, 4th of JULY Party

These parties better get sane now, someone's blasting Drake and XXXTENTACION in the blue room where most of the crowd is smoking weed and some are knocked out flat on the couch with somophore guys digging their hands deep into their pockets. The room adjacent to it is pretty cool only if the girls stop crying pathetically even though the Olivia Rodrigo album was done being played almost half an hour ago...because this "waterproof mascara" crying rythm is not going well with Britney's voice you're toxic/i'm slipping under/. Its quite embarrassing seeing my own freshman sister, Harper crying over her celebrity crush who just got married.

I push me off the patio couch and force my feets to walk over to my bestfriend who almost drooled over the new bicycle dude.

"Can I get your cellphone?"

"Just call it a mobile phone...why do you need my phone anyway?''

"Mine's running low on battery"

"Bad timing...Aiden Lee literally asked for my number, like we exchanged numbers...he could text me anytime. Why don't you just get back to your place...I'm pretty much sure you're hating it here"

Damn. She looks gorgeous. like not the "gorgeous" gorgeous...but she is pretty cool.

"Stella..you don't know me...I'm just tired of all that dancing and stuff..." Its a lie, I hate it here and Stella can read me like an open book...accurately. And that's dangerously attractive.

This is weird...I've known Stella since like third grade and this year is different. I remember putting chewing gum in her hairbrush on the day of our first annual ball. Mom whispered, "She looks stunning anyway...I want you to look into her eyes while her hands are on your shoulders."

"Leo...snap out of it. Do you want me to get you a cab or something"
"Nah I brought my car...Um...,
I trail off, not wanting to finish this conversation here.
Did you show your chemistry results to Carmen yet?" Shucks, bad one.

"Um no...I-I don't know how to-"
"Yea It's fine... it's not that bad anyways.."
"Yea but it's not good.. is it nevermind...I'll go...just gimme a call...don't give me that look, just get someone's mobile and I'll be there"
"Off to the pool?"
"Yea"

This is where I wish time could be reversed.
Like the old times when there was a fine line between sincerity and insincerity, when we didn't have to think of the eyes, the awkwardness.
Night swims were always special....Mr. Castillo rented the whole swimming pool the time we were on a Philadelphia Summer trip.
I could push Stella into the water, jump in later without thinking much.

I get back to the hot pink patio couch, looking at stuff like the dj, the girls to get one thing out of my head. Her. I need to gulp it down or throw up....this feeling, exactly like tequila. It's odd how the old people come back to you different, at least that's how you see them.

The autumn blue bodycon plaited mini dress, the light caramel wavy loose hair, the almost nude lipstick.
What the hell is wrong with me?

All this shit may sound wrong coming from me, the one who was appreciated for writing a 172 word count essay on "How hook ups ruin teenagers" by our English teacher, Miss Susannah.

It's just a different ray of light shining on the afterglow of the way my fingers walked their way to her hand, interwining steadily as if a Brooklyn loner found it's home and truly it was a mere accident.
Months of avoiding stares, awkward "hi/s" in locker room...it took me end number of bike rides around Avelon alley and a distracted heart to look at her sunkissed  in a lilac top and the small hoop earrings.

The pool must be crowded, Daniel is probably glued to Nylah.
Thoughts circle around my head like sidekicks, "Is Aiden Lee still here in the party? In the pool rather? Is Stella with him"

Who do I frickin' care....we promised eachother not to point in noses when it comes to love life...intimacy or anything of that sort because fine line has to be maintained.

"I'm going home alone...", no intentions of having someone climbing over me while I drive.... I'll peacefully turn on the radio and just tumble into my bed.

I got out through the exit like a loner knowing Harper will stay over at Sophia's place.

Damn.
Stella is making out with Aiden Lee against my car.
Disgusting.

"Uhm..sorry guys could you just swallow eachother somewhere else...I need to pu- no um go.."
Stella's face was flushed brick red and Lee probably wanted to kick my balls but I can't help it.

"Are you leaving soon? Carmen just called btw.." Lie.
"Nu-uhm Aiden will give me a ride back home..r-right Aiden?"
"Thanks Lee but I guess I have a car too so goodnight Stella get inside..."
"Bu-"
"Get inside Stella...poor guy's lips are chapped"
Shooting me a glare she got inside the car.

I didn't pay Lee a glance...he was one step forward of Stella, with his death glares.

"We were having a great time Leo!"
"Seatbelt first Aubrey"
"You're not my dad"
"I know that...your Mom's not quite the thing"
"Ewwww Leo Carter Grayson!"
I chuckled...I love Carmen but I like her daughter better and she knows it too well.
"Play the radio"

Skip
Skip
Skip

/I'd never gone with the wind/
Just let it flow/
Let it take me where it wants to go/

"Don't you dare skip this!" There's a note of deadly seriousness in my voice.
"You're dumb enough to think I'll do so..."

/'Til you open the door/
There's so much more/
I'd never seen it before/

"You remember?"
"Everything"
Every single thing.

/I was trying to fly but I couldn't find wings/
But you came along and you changed everything/

Her soft locks flying around, my hands on her waist, an innocent smile, the immaturity in the understanding of love, a prom.
The 4th of July, that junior prom....I wish I could go back and tell her how beautiful she looked, how free, how happy.

/You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around/
You make me crazier, crazier/

"You almost STEPPED on my new stilettos alright? I mean Mom, Everly, Mrs. Fisher, that cringe dance teacher everyone invested three weeks and I turned down an actual cute date for the prom and you just- I mean"
She ended with a laugh, I couldn't help but smile...gosh her laugh it's gorgeous... gorgeous.

/Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes/
You make me crazier, crazier/

The song kept playing with horrendous sing alongs.
The ride came to an end, and I swear this was the first time in a while I felt this way.... completely lost but close to home...so close.

/Baby, you showed me what living is for/
I don't wanna hide anymore/

I quickly glanced at her, noticing her as if she was caught up in her own dreamland.

"So you and Aiden Lee a thing now?"
"Nah eh.. it's just a kiss....I mean we'll just hang out maybe...makeouts and all idk....I don't fall in love you know..."
"Yea my love me not plant now get off my car you're stinking..."
"Sure sir goodnight"

I waved her goodbye waiting for her to open the gate and get inside only to find her running back to the car, knocking on my car window.

"I need your cheek"
"Ew no Stella! you're not kissing my cheek with those lips...Aiden smokes a lot...like a lot lot"
"Come on Leo!"
"Nope Bye and bye"

The rythm of my heartbeat it's dangerously loud.
I feel mad at myself but why? I mean I'd rather have her kissing me like she kissed Aiden...I'd never date someone like Stella.
She's just a phase, like drug dealing articles, gym etc.
Just a phase.

The song's on repeat and I'm hating it right now...for some reason.

/You make me crazier, crazier, crazier
Crazier, crazier./
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SONG-
CRAZIER
TAYLOR SWIFT