Whirlwind

It's impossible to determine what's worse, remembering or not. And even then she doesn't remember everything.

Not the pokemon she had back on her side at home, if she really had a home, or even what her parents' faces looked like. If she even had any for a matter of fact.

There are times she has to convince herself this is no different than any Pokémon journey.

Leaving home when you're probably less than ready no matter how ready you feel - although the point of the journey was to grow - and creating bonds with your partner pokemon.

Making connections that in your heart will last forever even if the interaction itself was just a calm enjoyable night by the campfire with a trainer you hadn't met an hour earlier and sharing your life story.

Hisui is familiar. A dream of a dream. Littered with wispy thoughts that are no easier to discern than ink blotted paper.

Complaining feels wrong, it makes her feel guilty for wanting to remember what she used to have, or what she was supposed to have. The people of Jubilife had taken her in even while skeptical.

They'd given her food, a genuine house for her to reside in, and a tailor made uniform. It wasn't free, nothing ever truly was and she knew that fact to be true in every world or time, no matter if she didn't remember another one.

But the job they give her is a blessing in itself, no matter how tiring it can be, it doesn't feel like work.

It's too rewarding and freeing to feel like a true tether. Catching pokemon is intrinsic, a sixth sense of sorts, one she's revered here for when it's the only thing about herself she truly knows.

She catches and grows bonds with pokemon. That's for certain. But she never comes any closer to going home.

Arceus itself doesn't answer her calls, nor does it show her any signs of returning her to her old life.

Not even when her fingers push down on the ocarina - although they still only call it the Azure Flute - and bests the creature in combat does she gain any answers.

She throws no pokeball at the deity, it heels itself in a ball and subjects itself to her party itself. Staying by her side. It's hulking, and it practically breaks her neck to look up at its glory.

"Will I ever be able to go home?" She asks the god. It bows its mighty head solemnly, refusing to answer verbally even when she knew it held an intelligent voice.

The true all-mighty Sinnoh lives up to the saying, working in mysterious ways, because she never gets an answer as to why she of all people was here.

Just that she was there for a reason, that she only kinda understands, having done so much good(?) in her time here.

But why?

Surely there were other trainers. No, it's certain, there were other trainers. Ingo was an example of that, maybe Arceus had chosen him first. Then why hadn't they sent him home when they chose her instead?

She tells herself it's a mercy, a connection brought forth because Arceus, although at her side, didn't truly have the capability to connect with her in the way she needed.

So she had someone in Hisui who understood her plight, related in a way no one on this earth did.

Maybe it's wrong of her to question her predicament. Maybe she had no way of understanding what the mighty Arceus's plan was and what her role in that plan was.

But she knows as she sits on the grass, the sun boring down on her: She is not alone, not truly as the god stands far above her, shielding her from the worst of the sun's rays.

Tears slip down her features, and the equestrian-like god in a rare act of sympathy brushes its face against her cheek, promising to stay by her side until the very end.

Because she wasn't going home. It was time she accepted that.