Raven: An Unexpected Adventure

Seventeen

Once upon a time he'd assumed that war would be glorious. As an over eager young dwarf he'd insisted on going on the Quest with Kíli to reclaim their birthright. They had assumed then it would be great fun. They had glorified the journey and, especially, the fighting. Then, finally, he had been in a battle. Far from the glory of the tales of Azanulbizar, the Battle of Five Armies had been the stuff of nightmares. He at least, however, had been a trained warrior. Other dwarrow like Ori had only the most basic of training. Thinking about Bilba, who had always been so gentle, facing the same terrors made shame well in his belly. Of course, she had fought as well, not only that, she had protected them selflessly. Alone she had stood and defended them when she thought that they hated her. It was simply a testament to the hobbit she was. After it all, she had then returned to her home, pregnant and alone again, in shame. Of course she too would have suffered the night terrors. With only Raven and her other kinswoman, she would not have had anyone to confide in either. At least, no one who knew how to properly treat and stop the nightmares.

"Raven, the dreams, they might eventually lessen. If you tell us about them, however, we may know how to help your Amad. We might be able to make them stop." Fíli offered quietly.

"You promise though, you won't tell her that I said anything?" Raven whispered.

"I do. We all do." Thorin replied.

"She said they're from before. I think some are from the Quest, but she never really told me about your travels. I know when it's those ones because she has trouble sleeping, but they're not as bad. Not like the war ones. I know when she dreams about the war because she wakes up screaming. She can't help it, and even after she wakes up it takes her a while to go back to normal. Other times, I think she just missed you. She'd seem scared and lonely and she'd cry if she though Aunt Primula and I were asleep. She doesn't want me to know about any of them. She does her best to hide from me so most of the time I pretend to sleep through them." When Fíli had been almost sure that she would still refuse to say anything, Raven's soft voice filled the hut. Listening, Fíli's guilt soared once more. Bilba had suffered so much for helping them. It wasn't fair, and if Fíli had any say in his own future then he would be sure that he never abandoned her again. Not like that.

"Your Ma needs to speak to someone about her experiences." Thorin said softly. "Those of us who fought in the war, who survived Smaug's attack did. It's the best way of moving forward. We won't say anything, but if you get the opportunity to encourage your Amad to seek such help you should. Any of us would listen and help her where we could. We did that amongst ourselves before. We will always carry the memories, but the night terrors are rare."

"I'll try." Raven whispered. "Do you really think that they can get better?"

"Things, will get better Raven. I'll do my best to make it so, and in the meanwhile, you're always welcome here." Thorin said, and across the room, Fíli tried to meet his uncle's gaze. He could see that Thorin had sat up in his bed, and he suspected that he wasn't the only one feeling guilty.

"You should try to get some sleep, we'll try not to wake you in the morning when we get up. It's late now." Fíli said softly.

"Where are you going?" Raven demanded, a strong hand closing around his arm in panic.

"We have to see the Thain again, about revoking Bilba's shunning and returning Bag End and her money to her." Thorin replied.

"Oh." Raven replied.

"We'll be back before you know it. As fast as we can." Fíli added.

"You promise?"

"Promise." Fíli leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Now, try to sleep." he added and then he began to hum softly. It was an old song, the same one that he remembered singing that night in Bag End. Raven curled in against him with a small content smile on her face. A moment later, Thorin and Dís both joined in. Their deep-throated humming filled the hut. They sung no words, but before long Raven had sunk into true sleep in Fíli's arms.